Westley and Sloan

‘Pretty much I was in a domestic violence relationship with my son.’

Westley, 13, lives with his family in a small rural town. He has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), oppositional defiance disorder, dyslexia, depression and anxiety. His mum, Sloan, told the Royal Commission there are ‘not a lot of supports’ available to help Westley or the family.

Towards the end of primary school Westley’s behaviour escalated. He saw a paediatrician and started taking medication for ADHD. Doctors adjusted the dosage and the medication seemed to help. After a long and difficult search, Westley started seeing a psychologist an hour’s drive away.

Around the start of high school, despite increased dosages of medication, Westley’s behaviour became violent. He ‘smashed up’ the home and repeatedly tried to strangle Sloan.

At times the family were so scared they called police. Police would walk in and say there was nothing they could do to help the family despite seeing the damage and other signs of violence.

Twice, Sloan was able to get police to take Westley to hospital. The first time he couldn’t access the mental health service because he was already seeing a psychologist. The second time staff wanted to give him sleeping pills and send him home. Sloan was very concerned because that morning he had held his young sister down and put plastic bags over her head. She told them she was too scared to drive the hour from the hospital to home with Westley in the car.

Various services told Sloan there was nothing more they could do for the family unless she relinquished care of Westley.

Around this time Sloan’s two older sisters moved out of home because of the violence. One is still at school.

At school, Westley was involved in many fights and has spent more time on suspension than in attendance.

Westley is often the victim of bullying. One time his teeth were knocked out and he had to have them wired. Other kids have also threatened and bullied him on social media. The school recognises it has a bullying problem.

Not long ago, students sent Westley messages saying they would bash him at school. Sloan showed the school the messages and they suggested she take Westley’s phone away. A short time later he was ‘majorly bashed’. Students filmed it and sent the video around in a group message.

‘The next day he got bashed again by the same people,’ Sloan said. The school asked Westley’s sister, who was also a student, to take him home. ‘I was really angry they were going to try and put a dysregulated boy, that’s just had head injuries, into a car with my … daughter.’

The school is in the process of putting together strategies and supports for Wesley.

Sloan only learnt about the NDIS a year ago. She applied immediately. The NDIS rejected the first application saying she didn’t supply enough documentation. They rejected the second application because, contrary to the psychologist’s report, they believe Westley’s disability is not lifelong. Sloan submitted a third application and has been waiting more than two months for a response.

The impact on the family has been terrible. Sloan is working two jobs to pay for specialists and medication – approximately $1,000 a month. Her husband has lost his job because he needs to help Sloan with Westley.

When Westley is suspended it is very hard. ‘The hardest thing going through it … there was no respite whatever.’ She and her husband are socially isolated and she worries about the lasting impact on her daughters.

Westley is not as violent at home as he was a number of months ago. One of his sisters has moved home again.

Sloan believes services need to be better coordinated rather than ‘handballing’ the problem to each other and then back to her. She has been to countless meetings where people have said ‘good luck’.

‘I didn’t need luck, I needed help.’