Vincenzo and Mila

‘There needs to be a better way, because we need to change these children’s lives … we need to find a way to help them cope in the world.’

Mila is in her 50s and cares for Vincenzo, the son of her niece. Vincenzo is in primary school. He is autistic and has complex trauma. Mila and her partner cared for Vincenzo after child services removed him from his parents when he was a baby.

‘When he first came to us – I have three adult sons – and I didn't know what I was looking at. My children are neurotypical and I had never met such an angry young child,’ Mila told the Royal Commission. ‘Before his first Christmas with us, I had bought him a blackboard and whiteboard and whatever. He decimated that. He completely and utterly broke it apart and his room was trashed.’

Because she brought Vincenzo from another state, she struggled to access government services.

‘That made it incredibly difficult to find the right help for him or even try and find out what was going on for him and that was probably the biggest hurdle to begin with … I fought so hard.’

Vincenzo’s autism diagnosis took years, because specialists disputed what caused his behaviours.

‘I'm going to cry. I'm sorry, but I was going to psychologists that probably weren't as knowledgeable as they should be for a child in this situation.’

When Vincenzo was eventually diagnosed with autism, Mila and her partner had good jobs and could pay for Vincenzo’s supports including speech therapy, psychotherapy and occupational therapy.

‘I, unfortunately, had an accident and fractured my neck and partially disabled myself, which meant I couldn't work in my role anymore and that meant that we no longer had the money.’

Then, Mila’s partner was killed in an accident.

‘It's just been a battle from beginning to end.’

Mila said she could no longer afford the supports.

The state child protection agency is Vincenzo’s guardian.

‘There's always this threat that [the agency] will take him away and then I worry about the long-term effect that would have on him.’

Mila wants to enrol Vincenzo in a special live-in program that can help modify his challenging behaviours.

‘It's a lot of money. It's worth more than my house is, you know, because I would have mortgaged it if I could … because I think that would be the only thing that will change the trajectory of his life.’

Mila said the NDIA and the child protection agency are disputing who should fund the program.

‘If I was still working and earning, you know, great. If [my partner] was still alive and earning money, you know, then maybe things would be better. We would find a way, but there's this whole battle between [the child protection agency] and the NDIA and they're forever pushing back on each other. I don't care who bloody well funds it. The child needs it.’

Because of his challenging behaviours, Vincenzo struggles at school. Mila said the first half a dozen schools she approached wouldn’t accept him or, if they did, warned her they would probably suspend him.

‘This whole integration and moving away from special ed schools and special ed units, in trying to integrate a child. That’s all well and good to talk about integrating a child, but when they can’t integrate, what do you do then? Suspend them? So, then they live their life at home, gain no social skills, have no education?’

Mila moved to a regional area where she’s still struggling to find a school for Vincenzo.

‘What would I need the most? I need [schools] to give [Vincenzo] what he needs because I need to concentrate my energies on the child, not fighting for the child. You know, I'm good at advocating for what he needs and I'm not saying that I'm unwilling to do so, but I need to be less worn out. You know, I need to be less tired.’