Unice
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘The judges and lawyers don’t think that people with disabilities can raise children.’
Unice has an intellectual disability and described to the Royal Commission her struggle to gain custody of her children.
‘One day I had to go [to work] and my ex just took off with the kids. I came home to no kids, no husband.’
She found her children at the home of her husband’s parents, and took them to a different house to escape him. Unice later received an order to appear in court.
‘No lawyer was hiring due to Christmas so I went to court with no lawyer and unfortunately because he was in the family home with the children, the children were returned to him … I had the children up until two days before we went to court but the judge wanted them to go to the family home.’
That was more than a decade ago.
‘My ex has had full custody of the children ever since.’
Unice, now in her 30s, said that her husband had been abusive since her wedding night.
‘He was being really controlling. He’d hit me and sexually assault me, and he was emotionally abusive.’
She was pregnant when her husband gained custody of the children, and her youngest child was born after they had separated.
‘In hospital, the nurses came and got my [baby] from me and told me they were just taking [the baby] down to the [neonatal intensive care unit] to give me a break, and then child safety came into my hospital room. They served me with a 72-hour order and said I couldn’t see my baby whatsoever. I later found out from court materials that my ex-husband and all his family were dobbing me in to child safety and saying that I hit the older children which was a lie. I lost custody of [the baby].’
Unice’s baby was eventually placed in her mother’s care, but she lost access to her other children.
‘[My husband] has all say in what they do day to day. He’s supposed to send me a letter once a month and include photos and give me access to school records, but he doesn’t. I haven’t had a letter [in more than five years].’
Her mother now has a terminal illness and Unice wants to go to court again to ask if her mother can see the other children before she dies. She would also like to see her children reunited with each other, but has had difficulty finding a lawyer to represent her.
‘It is hard fighting for myself in court, with my disability. My ex’s lawyers would just slam me over and over and over with the same questions in a whole heap of different ways. All of my court experiences have been dreadful.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.