Tanya and Marc
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘I do not believe there is enough protection for underage people with disabilities.’
Tanya, late 30s, has bipolar disorder. Her son, Marc, is autistic and has a cognitive disability.
Tanya told the Royal Commission that when Marc became a teenager he started to lash out and could be violent. Tanya had a friend called Jo who would often support her and Marc. If Tanya and Marc had an argument, Marc would often go and have ‘a break’ at Jo’s house.
One day Marc had a particularly big ‘breakdown’ and Jo suggested Marc spend the day with her.
Marc didn’t come home.
Tanya contacted Jo but she wouldn’t let her talk to Marc. She told Tanya that Marc didn’t want to come home. He was 16 and legally could do what he wanted.
Tanya rang police who were very understanding but said there was nothing they could do.
Tanya tried to see Marc at school but he wasn’t there. She thinks he is enrolled in a new school, but when she contacted the education department they wouldn’t give her any information and suggested she make an official complaint.
Tanya has since discovered that Jo had been messaging Marc for months ‘behind her back’ encouraging him to move out of home and in with her. Jo helped Marc get his birth certificate so he could open his own bank account and apply to Centrelink for a youth allowance.
Tanya believes Jo was grooming Marc so he would move in with her and she could take control over his finances.
Initially Marc’s NDIS therapists went to Jo’s home to provide supports. However, Jo refused to leave Marc alone with them and they couldn’t continue.
The NDIS support coordinator told Tanya she is ‘deeply, deeply concerned’ for her son. ‘They said he is at risk, he's in danger, and … they technically classified him as missing in action.’
It has been several months since Tanya saw or spoke to Marc. She is worried he has Stockholm syndrome and, because of his disability, may not even ‘miss’ her and his siblings or understand what has happened.
Tanya recently contacted the police again for help. They went to Jo’s house but Marc was not there. Jo said he was in a rental property and she didn’t have to tell police where he was. They have told her she must bring him to a police station so they can check on his welfare.
‘Everyone is beside themselves because there's nothing we can do to protect him … I don't sleep very well any more. I don't function very well any more. I'm dreading the day the police come walking in my door and tell me something bad has happened to him.'
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.