Sidonie and Martie

Sidonie has an intellectual disability and the functional age of a 12-year-old. She also has complex post-traumatic stress disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and a number of issues related to anxiety.

Sidonie has lived with her foster parents, Martie and her husband, since she was a young child.

‘We love her very, very much. And she is, for all intents and purposes, our daughter, although we share that privilege with her birth family,’ Martie said.

About a year ago, Sidonie was a cheerful high school student, involved in a wide range of activities, with good friends. She attended a school with a hands-on learning support team, and with their help was achieving well academically. She had a part-time job and plans for her future.

‘[She was] loving, she was content and she was absolutely thriving on life,’ said Martie.

During lockdown, Sidonie took on a new job not far from her home. At first she worked there for just a few shifts a week, but quite soon she started spending more time there. Within a month or so, her hours increased to between 40-60 hours a week.

‘And then she started to completely disengage from us ... This was a kid who shared every moment of her day with me, you know. If she wasn’t with me, she’d send me messages. We were really close, and now she was just suddenly disengaging,’ Martie said.

Soon afterwards, Sidonie stopped going to school and moved in with the proprietor of the business, Lucy. When Martie tried to reason with Sidonie, she and Lucy reported her to the community services department for abuse.

The concocted allegations were quickly dismissed. But Lucy’s influence over Sidonie continued to grow and she soon took steps to extend her control.

‘Within the first week of [Sidonie] living with her, this woman rang the school and tried to change her next of kin emergency contact details. She told them that she was [Sidonie]’s new mum. The school, thankfully, rang me straightaway. She told [Sidonie] that she didn’t need to go to school, that it was a waste of time, that education wasn’t important.’

School staff tried to contact Sidonie, calling her and visiting the Lucy’s business.

‘[Lucy] just wouldn’t let them through to [Sidonie]. She would not let them have access to her,’ Martie said.

Lucy also convinced Sidonie to stop taking her medications and cancelled her medical appointments.

Despite Martie and her husband’s formal role as Sidonie’s foster parents and the government’s legal responsibility for her until she turns 18, they could not get the community services department to intervene.

‘They said that there was nothing they could do because she was 16 at that point. She could decide where she wanted to live.’

The situation deteriorated. Lucy applied to become Sidonie’s foster parent instead of Martie and her husband, but Martie argued fiercely against this. In the end the department didn’t approve the change, but Sidonie continued to live with Lucy and work unpaid in her business. Still, the department did not act.

‘They just kept saying that there’s nothing they can do, she’s … able to make her own decisions. And then they started throwing in things like, “We cannot protect her from making her own mistakes.”’

Martie is angry about the department’s lack of knowledge about disability.

‘There was no recognition or support or understanding for her psychiatric issues and how they actually came together,’ she said.

‘I mean, I understand and support the fact that [Sidonie] has rights … Of course she’s got rights. But she’s also entitled to extra protection. And people [in the department] keep hiding behind the fact that because she’s 16 and 17, she’s capable of making these so-called decisions, and she’s not … So they’ve left her in an absolutely abusive and exploitive environment.’