Rikki
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Rikki is a First Nations man in his 20s. He experiences anxiety and depression and has an undiagnosed mental illness. He is currently in prison.
‘My whole life I've had a lot going on in my mind,’ Rikki told the Royal Commission. ‘My mother is bipolar, schizophrenic. And also she did use drugs and drink a lot while she was pregnant with me.’
Rikki said he started drinking alcohol when he was 11.
‘Twelve years old, cannabis and 15 years old, methamphetamines. All from hanging around the wrong crowd. And also stupidity.’
Rikki entered a detention centre when he was 14. When he was first arrested, the police strip-searched him. ‘Something bad’ also happened in the lockup, but he ‘can’t bring [himself] to talk about it’.
‘It was a bit like a trauma event. As kids we didn’t know how to handle it. It took us out of our comfort zone. Then when we got back to our communities we just couldn’t cope.’
The detention centre made Rikki more violent.
‘A lot of fights would happen. Different kids would deal with their emotion in different ways. Some would get angry, some depressed and others alienated. I was a bit of all … If I had a good experience at [the detention centre] it could have been different in the way my life went.’
Rikki said that because of the way police treated him, after he was released he considered the police ‘the enemy’.
‘I've had police, like, pretty much nearly try to snap my arm, smash my head into the ground … Pretty much every time I've been arrested I've been, like, injured in some way from police.’
When he was first sent to an adult prison, Rikki was still under the influence of drugs and argued with a guard.
‘They called me up to the ... office. There was about six of them in there and as soon as I walked in one of them grabbed me by the throat, pushed me up against the wall and they kept saying, “You're not in [juvenile detention] now. This is the big boys’ house.”’
After that, Rikki spent a lot of time in isolation. When he’s not in prison he doesn’t get much support ‘for mental health and everything else’.
‘A lot of the younger generation, they get treated the same as the generation before were treated and the generation before that got treated, and it’s like a never-ending cycle,’ he told the Royal Commission. ‘Sort of getting depressed just talking about this stuff.’
Rikki said although he’s back in prison, he’s less angry and just wants to go home to get help.
‘These days I am trying to let go of anger, but the more I let go of the anger it turns into depression. I don’t get angry anymore. I get depressed.’
Rikki said he makes no excuses for his past behaviour, but police and prison guards also need to change their behaviour.
‘You ask them why they work here [and] they say, “To make change.” But there is no change … I believe that there should be stuff that helps us rather than us being depressed to the point where we want to take our own life, which a lot of brothers do.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.