Raelene

Raelene, mid-50s, has intellectual disability and complex trauma.

In her early teens, Raelene discovered the woman she thought was her mum was her foster mother.

‘That broke me completely,’ she told the Royal Commission. ‘It ended up that I had to leave school halfway through grade nine because I was getting into too much trouble, smoking and all that sort of stuff.’

Raelene’s foster mother offered to adopt her.

‘For the next six months we went through doctors, we went to psychs, we went for blood tests, we did everything. They said, “Are you sure you want her as your mum?” and I said, “I’ve had her for … years, she is my mum.” We went through all the rigmarole and they said I had to wait until I was 16.’

When Raelene turned 16, she did all the tests again. But her mum still couldn’t adopt her because the department had lost all her files.

They told her she would have to wait until she was 18, but then she discovered she couldn’t legally consent to adoption until she was 21.

‘I really did lose it. I went smoking, I went to nightclubs, I was just really off the track.’

Around this time, Raelene met a man who loved her. But they couldn’t be together because his parents refused ‘to let a person that had disability and mental issues into their son’s life’.

Raelene became very distressed and ‘nothing seemed any good’. One night she was raped – she felt it was her fault.

Raelene became pregnant and her mum helped her raise the child. ‘My daughter grew up with my mum as her rock.’

When Raelene’s mum died, it was very difficult for both of them. Raelene started seeing a man who used her as a prostitute.

‘Because of my disability, he just thought he could do it to me and get away with it. When I was with him, I just thought it was normal, that it was a normal relationship. I lent him a lot of money and the only way he paid me back would be if I had sex with him, and so I accepted.’

Raelene’s daughter, who also has intellectual disability, fell in love, got married and had her own baby.

As soon as the child was born, child protection removed him.

‘He was going to go into foster care, but we went to court and fought to have him in our care.’

A few years ago, Raelene had to move into a care home because she needed more and more help with personal care.

‘I wasn’t very happy there for the first two to three years. I never called it home. It took a long time for me to get used to everybody and all the rules and regulations. It was very structured.’

Raelene missed living with her family and started self-harming.

Raelene began seeing a counsellor and moved to a brand-new group home with two women.

It is a lovely house but there are no day programs.

‘You’re in the house the whole time unless you organise something.’

Raelene finds it very difficult and has been experiencing disassociation and having blackouts.

‘I have harmed the ladies that I live with and I can’t remember it. It’s made it really difficult for the ladies to even talk to me because they’re frightened if they say the wrong thing I will attack them.’

Raelene wants to live on her own.

‘It would be nice to have my own place and be able to do what I want, when I want and with who I want, once again.’