Moss
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Moss is in his 40s and lives with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), adjustment disorder and separation trauma caused by his experiences with child protection.
‘I had my innocence robbed, my childhood robbed and I’m paying the price still to this day,’ Moss told the Royal Commission. ‘I’ve had trauma since the day I was born. No-one has taught me emotions, no-one has taught me feelings, so I do have problems coping.’
Moss said the physical, mental and sexual abuse he experienced in the child protection and juvenile justice systems impacted his life ‘catastrophically’.
‘I’ve been in and out of custody [for more than 20 years] and I’ve been misdiagnosed, I’ve been placed on copious amounts of psychiatric medication.’
Moss said the police were ‘fully aware’ of his complex PTSD. During a recent incident, police asked him to remove his shoelaces in case he self-harmed. When Moss refused he was ‘grabbed around the neck and choked’ and ‘thrown onto the ground’.
‘Another constable proceeded to drop his knee very forceful into my chest. Blood squirted everywhere, I had to argue for the ambulance to turn up to take me up to hospital.’
When he recently had suicidal thoughts, Moss told the police. They took him to a community health service at the local hospital.
‘I … spoke with their peer support worker. I’ve never met one before, but was great … I found that very comfortable and exciting that someone wasn’t reading it from a textbook, they were experiencing it through life. It wasn’t something they went to university to learn, how to try to connect or cope or understand, which I found that valuable.’
Moss was told to return the next day to be admitted to hospital, but when he did return, the hospital told him to leave.
‘When I got turned away less than 24 hours after wanting to commit suicide, that’s when I realised there needs to be big, big change in this country.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.