Milena
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Milena, late 50s, has complex post-traumatic stress disorder and a dissociative disorder. She has a physical disability as a result of her adoptive father physically abusing her when she was a child.
In the late 2000s, Milena worked as a youth support worker and was attacked by clients several times in the space of six months.
Milena told the Royal Commission the attacks triggered memories of her childhood and she had ‘a mental breakdown’. She lost her job and thought about ending her life.
Milena was living in a regional area and went to a nearby private hospital for help. In hospital she experienced flashbacks of her childhood abuse and became physically immobilised. During these ‘episodes’, Milena would scream but was unable to press the alert button. Sometimes another patient would press the button to help her. She said the nurses responded slowly and instead of helping her, ‘started yelling’ at her to open her hand for medication. She couldn’t because her hands were ‘quite clenched’. Milena felt ‘quite terrified in that moment to be treated that way’.
A few years later Milena went to a doctor because she had a migraine which signalled the onset of an episode. The doctor refused to treat her and called her ‘a waste of space’. Distressed, Milena ended up taking an overdose of some medication she had in her bag.
Milena made a complaint about the doctor, which led to the department of child safety becoming involved. Being a child of forced adoption she found this very upsetting. The department quickly decided she was capable of looking after her children and offered her support.
Around this time Milena’s carer started living with her. Her carer was able to ‘speak for her’ when she went to hospital. If her carer wasn’t with her, hospital staff treated her badly. To avoid this, they approached the hospital and explained what happens to Milena when she’s having an episode and asked the hospital to add a note to her file explaining her history, diagnosis and soothing techniques. The hospital agreed but staff routinely ignored the note and continued to treat her poorly.
A short time later Milena attempted suicide. She said the hospital kept her carer away from her. The nurse on duty decided Milena needed to be ‘taught a lesson’ and made sure Milena had no privacy. This triggered a major episode but the nurse didn’t care. She told Milena, ‘We want to deal with real accident emergencies. Real patients.’ Milena couldn’t speak and ‘froze’.
After this Milena decided the hospital was not a safe environment for her.
‘I would rather die than go to hospital for help … and be treated like garbage like I was treated all my life in this adoptive family.’
Milena stopped accessing supports and self-managed her mental health. It worked for about four years until her teenage son died. ‘For two years I didn’t seek any help or support though I knew that I was struggling.’
Recently Milena connected with an adoption support service which has helped her access the support she needs.
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.