Martha, Mallory, and Julian
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Martha is in her 40s and lives with an intellectual disability, depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder.
‘Because of all I have been through … I will have to take medication for the rest of my life,’ she told the Royal Commission.
Martha said her father sexually assaulted her when she was very young, while her mother ‘was in the same room laughing’.
‘I used to get physically abused by both parents.’
When Martha wet the bed her mother put her in a cold bath or her father sprayed her with a hose. When she argued with her sister, she was locked in a shed.
Martha said that both her parents were alcoholics.
‘And when my mother got drunk she used to bite me and pull my hair. I used to get smacked with the jug cord and wooden spoons really hard and then sent to my room. I didn’t know what I had done wrong.’
After Martha’s parents separated, her mother’s new partner raped her and her sister.
‘He even pointed a gun at us once and said if we told anyone he would shoot us. I eventually told mum and she didn’t believe me and then kicked me out of home.’
Martha was placed in foster care. She moved between foster families and was sexually assaulted again.
‘While my foster mother was at work, her husband was sexually abusing me. I eventually went out one day and rang the police from the phone box. They came and interviewed him. He wasn’t allowed to be alone with me after that.’
Martha continued to live with the family for another six months.
‘Nothing really happened to him because it was his word against mine … I was never even offered any counselling or anything.’
When Martha left foster care, she began abusing drugs and alcohol.
‘I felt that I wasn’t worth anything because of what my family had put me through.’
Martha gave birth to her son, Julian, her mid-20s.
‘He was a beautiful little boy, I loved him so much.’
But Julian died in an accident when he was a toddler.
‘I remember saying to the ambulance guys, “No, he can’t be dead” ... That was the hardest day of my life.’
Martha met someone else and had a daughter, Mallory, who is now a teenager.
‘I love her to the moon and back. Her father and I are no longer together, but we are really good friends.’
Martha now works with an advocacy group for people with disability.
‘The message we are trying to get out is that parents with an intellectual disability can be caring and capable parents. I know this because I am one.’
She said her experiences have made her a stronger person.
‘I want to say that’s the end of my story, but I think it’s only just beginning.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.