Lulu
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Lulu is in her late 60s and has bipolar disorder.
Lulu told the Royal Commission her first diagnosis was ‘major depression’. About a decade ago, she was ‘recategorized as bipolar’ and admitted to ‘mental illness units’ several times under an involuntary treatment order.
‘I refuse to call it mental health … This is a misnomer … so that we’ll feel better and less stigmatised.’
Lulu said she’s had many ‘terrible experiences’ because of the attitudes of mental illness professionals who treat her in a ‘highly negative way’.
‘People who are suffering from bipolar, who are seen as psychotic … are pushed into a category. It’s a convenient tool mental illness services use. They say, “It’s untreatable,” and “You’re out of control,” … I’ve been told, “You’re bad.”’
Lulu feels staff hold her on wards longer than required for arbitrary reasons. Once a nurse judged her to be ‘a difficult patient’ and wouldn’t release her. He forbade her from speaking to her social worker or an advocate. On another occasion, after a suicide attempt a couple of years ago, she said nurses forced her to take medication without explanation. They didn’t shower her or change her clothes for several days.
‘And I saw a “working with families” pamphlet up on the wall, and it was about trying to help families cope with your illness. So I got my family to attend … I spent the worst time of my life waiting and waiting and waiting to be called to this meeting. No, never called. I wasn’t included.’
Lulu said nurses refused to communicate with her about the meeting.
‘People who suffer from mental illness, no matter what their background is, they are so disenfranchised, so wiped out.’
She described this as ‘the fishbowl that exists in mental illness’.
‘Where it’s darker inside – a glassed-in area. They can see out, and you can see them, and it’s a powerful way of staff controlling you … It’s intimidating.’
Lulu said she once had a really good psychiatrist who understood her, but he died a few years ago.
‘My psychiatrist said to me, “[Lulu], hospitals are not a good place.” … But he would encourage me to go, when I was well enough to be alone, to a very positive environment in nature.’
Since then, she finds most psychiatrists are ‘the bottom feeders from the medical schools’ and don’t help her recovery. One psychiatrist just ‘grilled’ and ‘bullied’ her and said she ‘must accept the diagnosis’.
‘A psychiatrist can so badly mess up a life.’
This makes it hard for Lulu to get help as she finds the mental health services helplines ‘dreadful’.
‘So if I become suicidal, depressed, anything, there is no service I can go to.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.