Lilardia, Miro and Karri

Lilardia is autistic, has fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and intellectual disability. Miro also has fetal alcohol spectrum disorder and intellectual disability.

Karri is their kinship carer.

Lilardia was removed from her mother as a baby and placed in foster care. She lived in more than 10 foster homes in two years before coming to live with Karri, who had struggled to find her.

‘This could have been avoided if they looked and done their research into the family tree of who’s family and who’s not,’ Karri told the Royal Commission.

‘If there’s capable family members to look after these children, they are to be placed with family first before foster family.’

Karri discovered that while in foster care Lilardia had been sexually assaulted as punishment for wetting the bed. She became terrified of wetting the bed.

Lilardia’s foster carers had let her eat as much as she wanted. She became so overweight she could not stand up and had to roll over on all fours to try and get up.

Lilardia continues to have a serious sugar addiction and will binge eat if left unchecked.

Other children bullied her and told her no-one loved her because she had been moved around so much.

‘She’s terrified … about being removed again from us. When she first come to us we had to go and lock our front gate with a padlock. And she had to witness us lock the gate, witness us lock the front door, lock the screen door, everything, so they couldn’t come and get her.’

Although Lilardia has lived with Karri for several years, Karri has no say over what happens to her because she is not her legal guardian.

Karri couldn’t get access to Lilardia’s NDIS information and wasn’t invited to a recent plan review meeting.

She kicked up a fuss telling them, ‘Do you know what happens in her daily life? No, you don’t, because you only just sit up here. I’m the one that’s on the frontline with her every day with her issues … her disability.’

Child protection have agreed to include Karri in future meetings.

When Miro’s mum became unwell, he asked child protection to intervene and place him into care.

‘It’s just really sad that he got passed around everywhere first, before he was placed with me,’ Karri said.

Miro attends a special high school but doesn’t like it and isn’t engaged.

‘He’s got really bad memory – he can’t remember what day of the week it is. So I have to do visuals for him.’

Before he came to Karri he couldn’t read or write. She has been teaching him and he is improving.

Karri has helped Miro access the NDIS.

‘We’ve got all the supports around him properly. He’s got a good support coordinator. He has people come and pick him up two days a week to do activities. He is learning how to cook, learning how to be able to budget his money.’

Karri has been supporting Miro’s mum and organised for her to see a specialist.

‘Because if we can get a diagnosis, we can get her on the disability pension and get her into the right services and right supports around her. She’s got a lot of trauma from her own childhood.’

Miro’s mum has recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Karri hopes with the right supports Miro might be able to live with his mum.

Karri wants more support and greater respect for kinship carers.

She has no respite and feels ‘worn out’ by the system.

‘I’m just a bit frustrated, but I’ll get there eventually … You need to listen to us carers that have them. Us kinship carers, we’ve got lots of knowledge of what these children go through.’