Kerryn
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
A doctor diagnosed Kerryn, who’s in her 50s, with chronic fatigue syndrome nearly 30 years ago.
‘I was bedridden and I was unable to do many self-care activities,’ Kerryn told the Royal Commission. ‘I couldn't brush my own hair. I couldn't cook for myself. I couldn't eat sitting up … If I did maybe push myself to sort of get out and play with the kids for half an hour, then I would have some very dreadful days to follow.’
Kerryn gave up her nursing career and asked Centrelink for support.
‘I was eligible for a sickness payment … But there were certain [reporting] requirements involved, which were exhausting for a person who's already sick.’
Centrelink rejected her application for the Disability Support Pension (DSP).
‘I decided to appeal. And so, I had my doctor's certificate from my doctor who was currently looking after me with my chronic fatigue.’
Kerryn said she appeared before a panel of three people to answer questions for 45 minutes.
‘I normally couldn't really sit up at all … They just fired questions at me, very judgemental questions, to try to disprove my condition … Just saying things like this: "You look, you know, like there's nothing wrong with you. You look perfectly fine." And I would say, "You can't see it. It's inside. It's fatigue. It's inside of me."’
When asked what it felt like, she described the feeling of shaking inside. Kerryn said when a panel member asked her to hold out her hand, they accused her of lying because her hand wasn’t shaking.
‘They [said] words to the effect of, well, "See? See? You're lying. Just proved that you're lying," kind of thing … That's what the whole interview was like.’
The panel rejected Kerryn’s appeal. Afterwards, she developed post-traumatic stress disorder and feared getting out of bed in case she was being watched.
‘I was very afraid these government officials were calling me a liar. So, I became more reclusive than I already was.’
When Centrelink changed the way it assessed eligibility, it gave Kerryn the DSP.
‘In the end all I did was stroll into the office, meet with a nurse, and she said, "Oh, you poor thing. That's terrible. And of course, here you go, green tick."’
Kerryn said nearly 30 years later, she still worries about going back to work or studying.
‘I'm afraid they might [say], "Well, if you could do one hour's work, then you're lying to us."’
Kerryn said she was initially reluctant to tell the Royal Commission her story of ‘this very small thing that happened to [her]’.
‘Then I thought about what impact that one meeting has had actually on my life and it’s, well, it’s quite an impact. And I thought that it’s worth recording. It was wrong. It was wrong the way that I was treated.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.