Jerry
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘In more than 50 years of struggling without success, I feel that any hopes I have for the future have been beaten out of me.’
For the past 30 years, doctors treated Jerry for depression. Now in his 50s, Jerry recently learnt he actually has autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
‘It was only with the help of my friend that I was able to get my current psychiatrist to take notice and realise that the standard treatments for depression had not worked,’ Jerry told the Royal Commission.
Jerry has difficulty expressing himself and struggles with anxiety. He is hypersensitive to loud noises and uncomfortable in crowds. Jerry said a ‘mental health nurse made a tentative diagnosis of depression’ when he was in his 20s.
‘They sent me to see the psychiatrist at the local community mental health centre who suggested that I be admitted to hospital.’
Doctors told him he would get better within four to six months if he followed their instructions and took medication.
‘That four to six months has haunted me for years … I was led to believe that my failure to recover was a result of me not trying hard enough. It left me questioning myself, “Am I just lazy? Am I putting it on to avoid responsibility, or avoid work?”.’
While being treated for depression, Jerry spent 15 years completing his university degree.
‘I was still not “better” when I finished my degree and so was still not able to work and I now have a HECS debt that I can't afford to pay back hanging over my head.’
Jerry relies on the Disability Support Pension.
‘As the months stretched into years, I watched myself fall further and further behind my peers. And in fact … I have yet to achieve [a career and a family]. I’m not even sure if they are realistic goals anymore.’
Jerry said the original diagnosis of depression seemed to prevent his doctors ‘from considering any of [his] symptoms that did not fit with that diagnosis’.
When a friend had their child diagnosed with autism, Jerry asked them to ‘help [him] find the words to more clearly express what [he] was asking the doctors to do: To step back and reassess [his] diagnosis.’
A psychiatrist diagnosed Jerry with ASD and ADHD.
‘I feel that if the doctors had been able to work with me as an individual, one on one, rather than pigeonholing me into boxes that I didn’t entirely fit, years of stress and negative reinforcement of my already existing low self-confidence and self-esteem might have been avoided and the trauma that I experienced minimised.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.