Hans
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘I don’t think putting a 12-year-old in a detention centre should ever be considered reasonable. I needed safe and supervised accommodation. I lost my family. I don’t know my own parents, they’re strangers to me. I don’t actually know how old I am.’
Hans is a First Nations autistic man in his mid-30s. He also lives with anxiety, agoraphobia and complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
‘When I was growing up … my family kind of knew there was something not right with me,’ Hans told the Royal Commission. ‘At the time, they didn’t know much about autism, so they kept, like, misdiagnosing me and then giving me wrong medications all the time, making me sick.’
Hans spent ‘months at a time’ in hospital having treatment for things like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.
‘They did, like, isolation treatment on me at one point.’
When he was about 10, his mother ‘completely lost the plot’ and Hans was put into foster care. When the department of community services (DOCS) moved to become his guardian, promising psychologists and other help, his father accepted.
‘And it just ended up a nightmare … They kind of lied to him. He gave up his custody hoping that will be better for me and he got screwed over just as bad as I did. Coz all they offered, they didn’t do. I ended up in refuges and dodgy foster homes with alcoholics and things … who would take my DOCS money and spend it on booze, and then I would go to school with duct tape around my shoes because they had no money to buy shoes.’
When Hans came out of foster care – dosed up on ‘anti-schizophrenic meds’ – he was ‘completely off the rails’.
‘I was so angry … At one point I was grabbing knives just to keep dad away from me … It was just the medication.’
The department told his dad they were taking Hans to a refuge. Instead they took him to a juvenile detention centre. There, much older boys bashed and tried to rape him.
‘You had to fight them off and you’re screaming, just praying the guards would hear it. Their favourite thing to do would be to pin you down while others kick you in the head,’ Hans said. ‘I ended up staying in the cell 24 hours a day and refused to eat.’
After a few months, Hans returned to foster care.
‘Because I was in and out of foster homes, I did miss a lot of schooling.’
In his late teens, child protection services moved Hans into his own apartment – ‘a prison cell’ – but soon after, ended his supports.
Doctors didn’t ‘properly’ diagnose him until he was about 20. Since then Hans has been on a Disability Support Pension, but finds it ‘a joke’.
‘It should be minimum wage. You shouldn’t have disabled people living in poverty and feeling like they’re lesser … I have to ration, I have clothes with holes in them because I have to figure out if I’m going to buy food or buy clothes.’
Hans has completed tertiary study and would have liked to work.
‘But I still can’t get a job. I’ve done everything I can to get better … and I’m still stuck …’
He now struggles to leave his house and is on ‘medication for suicide’. Hans says he really wants to ‘learn to live a life’ but feels he’s ‘being isolated and segregated’.
‘I should have a partner and a home and I don’t have nothing. I’ve been alone my whole life, never had a girlfriend, never even been on a coffee date … I’ve never even held someone’s hand.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.