Fabio and Joaquin
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Fabio is in his final years of primary school. He is autistic and receives NDIS support. His father Joaquin describes him as ‘high functioning’ and a ‘masker’.
‘Like, if you just looked at him, you'd think he was just a normal child,’ he said.
Fabio’s parents separated some years ago and he lives with each of them half the time. Since their separation, Joaquin and his ex-partner no longer talk to each other or participate together in events and activities in Fabio’s life. Joaquin said Fabio is managing these changed circumstances well.
‘As much as he's gone through a lot, he's achieved a lot as well, which I have been very happy with.’
After several years of requests, Fabio now receives support at school, but there are still issues. Joaquin says consistency is very important to Fabio, and the school fails to provide it.
‘Teachers change, you know. So the constant evolution of, you know, in one year you get two teachers [working different days] … So he had two teachers he had to deal with. And then halfway through one of the teachers left, so they got another teacher. So one year he's had three teachers.’
Joaquin also feels the school uses his and his partner’s separation to avoid responsibility for Fabio. For a time Fabio was incontinent at school. When Joaquin wanted to discuss this with staff, they told him it didn’t happen when Fabio was staying with his mother.
‘And it just went around in a circle. Know what I mean? … It happened about three times, and it was just – just a constant circle of, you know, blame-shifting. No-one taking accountability, responsibility for it,’ Joaquin said.
Joaquin has had similar experiences with the NDIS. Both he and his ex-partner are Fabio’s nominees. Organising Fabio’s plan together is difficult and there is no support to help manage the process.
‘For a separated parent, there's no specific liaison communicator or support mechanisms in place. So it's left to – “That's for you two to work out,” you know … “We've done our part. We've provided the funding.”’
As a result, it’s been difficult to implement Fabio’s plan.
‘I think there needs to be a more independent person, specialist, specifically for separated parents, where obviously there's disagreement there … Like, it's not about me gaining anything from it. [Fabio]’s the one that – everything that gets stopped, affects him … and that's the biggest concern.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.