Emanuel and Lilliana
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Late one night, not long ago, seven-year-old Emanuel was crying and in pain. His mum Lilliana wasn’t able to determine the cause of his pain, so took him to the emergency department of the local hospital.
At the hospital Lilliana spoke to staff about Emanuel’s disabilities – he is autistic, non-verbal, has an intellectual disability and is a flight risk.
She told the Royal Commission she explained to hospital staff that Emanuel finds crowded and unfamiliar rooms distressing and needed a quiet place to wait. She asked if they could assist, but no-one offered an alternative space.
Emanuel and Lilliana continued to wait in the main waiting area.
Emanuel became increasingly distressed and began attacking himself, Lilliana and others. It became difficult for Lilliana to restrain and calm him.
‘I felt ashamed by the attention that [Emanuel] was receiving from other parents and patients because I believed they thought I was a bad mother for not being able to stop him from crying,’ she said.
Every time a nurse appeared Lilliana explained why Emanuel was so distressed and asked how much longer they would need to wait.
At one point a nurse asked Lilliana what strategies she used to calm Emanuel down at home. Lilliana told her he didn’t behave this way at home. She couldn’t make the nurse understand that the environment was the main problem. She told the nurse she didn’t know what to do.
The nurse was clear – Emanuel was Lilliana’s problem and she had to find a way to calm him down.
‘I asked her several times that night if she can help me in any way to make it easier for us to wait and the response was to ignore us.’
After seven hours Lilliana could no longer wait. Although Emanuel was still in pain, they left without seeing a doctor.
The next day they saw a GP who referred them to a dentist – Emanuel had a problem with his tooth.
Following the hospital visit Lilliana experienced severe back pain. She had injured the discs in her back trying to restrain Emanuel.
‘When [Emanuel] next experienced pain, I was distressed by the idea of having to attend a hospital again because I was afraid that we would experience the same treatment.’
This time she called an ambulance who took Emanuel to a different hospital.
‘[Emanuel] was given his own room to wait in where a doctor checked in every thirty minutes. He did not have the same behavioural problems.’
Lilliana would like emergency department staff to receive training about the needs of autistic children, and alternative waiting rooms for patients with sensory or anxiety symptoms.
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.