Dianne
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘They literally used my disability against me.’
Dianne, early 40s, has an intellectual disability and finds it hard to read and write. She has three children, two of whom have disability.
About 10 years ago, Dianne came home from work late at night and found her children and their father gone.
Someone had told the department of child safety the children hadn’t been fed. Their father was passed out on the couch, drunk and under the influence of illegal drugs.
Child safety took the children into emergency foster care.
Dianne told the Royal Commission she tried to get them back but the department said the children weren’t safe to ‘be around [her] because of [her] intellectual disability’. Dianne had to ‘push’ for them to go to their grandparents – her parents.
‘For 10 months, and in that 10 months I proved to them that I was fit enough to have the girls back reunited to me as their full-time carer.’
The following year Dianne had a miscarriage, her house flooded and her health deteriorated. ‘I was dealing with the constant abuse from my ex-husband. It was verbal, it was physical, it was mentally, emotionally, you name it, I copped it.’
The department again removed the children. They didn’t believe the children were safe living with either parent.
For the next few years the children moved between the foster system and their paternal grandparents.
Dianne fought to regain custody, but the department did not consider her a safe option because of her intellectual disability. She found the process very difficult especially when she had to read and complete so many forms. The department and courts rarely explained anything to her and never provided easy read documents.
When her eldest daughter was diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome the department blamed her and, Dianne says, used it to continue to deny her custody.
Dianne’s ex-husband told the court she was ‘verbally abusive’ and ‘physically abusive’ towards the children and they were ‘at risk of being emotionally harmed by [her]’.
The court awarded Dianne’s ex-husband custody of the children and they lived with him for several years.
Dianne’s eldest daughter has severe depression, anorexia and self-harms. As soon as she turned 16 she returned to live with Dianne.
‘I now have a 16-year-old daughter that needs to learn how to be a child again, because her father literally made her – the way the doctors have put it – he made her his slave. She had to cook his food, clean the house, be a mother to the other two kids.’
Not long after this, Dianne’s other daughter came to stay.
Dianne is working hard to turn her life around. ‘There is no such thing as a perfect person. Everyone makes mistakes. I stood up. The only way I knew that I would be able to change myself was, I stood up … I admitted all the stuff-ups I did.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.