Connie
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Connie is a mental health professional. She was drawn to her work because of her own experiences as a teenager in the mental health system.
Connie grew up with abusive parents and, by the time she was 12, wanted to take her own life. She experienced severe depression and continued to have thoughts of suicide. At 16 she developed an eating disorder and spent time in an adult psychiatric hospital. She told the Royal Commission the nurses there were ‘horrific’.
‘The things that I was told about myself at that age were, “You drag everyone else around you down. You need to look in the mirror and smile more.”’
Connie, now in her late 20s, was recently diagnosed with autism. She also has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), complex post-traumatic stress disorder and dissociative identity disorder. She is angry no-one diagnosed her autism earlier.
‘I am very autistic and I am proud of that, and it's a huge part of my identity. But, you know, it should not, like, the signs have been there since I was one.’
That late diagnosis is ‘not uncommon’, she said, ‘especially for females because the diagnostic criteria for autism are biased towards male presentations’. Medical professionals also often miss ADHD for the same reason.
‘And it's just, like, it's actually a sexist issue that we are, like, our presentation is different. But it doesn't mean that we suffer less.’
The medical treatment Connie received as a teenager was not effective for someone with autism and ADHD.
‘I was chemically sedated without consent. It was like, “You take this or we're pinning you down and forcing these drugs into you” … So perhaps if someone had explored that further, they would've realised I didn't need to be on antipsychotic medications because I'm not psychotic. I have ADHD. I needed to be on stimulant medication because that is the correct treatment for ADHD … So I spent 15 years receiving inaccurate and inappropriate diagnosis and treatment, and it got worse and worse because of that.’
By the age of 18, Connie was ‘doing a little bit better’.
‘I somehow poured myself into, like, reading's always been my thing. So I poured myself into reading every recovery book I could get my hands on. ’Cos I sort of realised no-one was going to get me better unless I did it myself, basically.’
Connie enrolled at university, where she ended up in an abusive relationship.
She is seeking regulatory consequences for the abuser, and is also pursuing a civil claim. She told the Royal Commission that following up these matters has had been very difficult for her.
‘Like, financially, emotionally, it has broken me to do this. And I will get there, and I will get through it. But something has to change, because this is bullshit. And it's not good enough on any level … Why is he still working? Why, as the victim, did I have to go through and do all of this and retraumatise myself again and again and again and again, and continue to have to do so? … I am – I don't want to just tell my story, I want this changed. Like, I'm done just telling it to people. And I'm done with, “Poor you, poor you.”’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.