Coen and Aspen
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘Child safety needs to be held accountable for the support it doesn't provide.’
Aspen is a single parent and foster carer of her grandson, Coen, who is autistic and has global developmental delay.
Aspen’s daughter, who has bipolar disorder, became pregnant as a teenager and struggled to raise Coen.
‘By the time [the child safety department] became involved I was exhausted,’ Aspen told the Royal Commission. ‘I felt totally inadequate because, you know, a good parent is able to provide all the supports that a child needs. I couldn't. I didn't have the resources. I didn't have the time.’
Aspen had other children to care for, but had to give up work to support Coen.
‘I can remember when I took [Coen, the department] said, "Oh yep, we'll provide supports, you'll get a carer allowance.” You'll get this, you'll get that. I was pushing shit uphill ... trying to get things. Like, I will pay for [occupational therapy] OT if you guys pay for psychology … I was seriously negotiating continually with them to help me out and their attitude was, “Well, you know, you do get a fostering allowance.”’
When Coen turned 17 a few years ago, government support stopped and Coen went to live with his mother.
‘These young ones who don't have anyone, it is horrible, absolutely horrible what happens … A majority of young people when they leave the care system, they go home to be with their parents. There are no supports put in place around that psycho-education to parents around providing adequate supports for the young person, understanding their disability, understanding how they operate.’
For example, Aspen’s daughter wouldn’t let Coen access government support.
‘She wanted him to get a job. She didn't want him to go on Centrelink.’
Coen lived in a tent until someone else helped him apply for a Disability Support Pension.
Aspen said because of a shortage of foster carers and residential care, child safety departments increasingly rely on relatives to foster children.
‘Training is not mandatory for kinship carers. So, therefore, those foster carers [who are] kinship carers don't know their rights, nor their responsibilities in lots of ways.’
Aspen told the Royal Commission the government exploits kinship carers.
‘Blood is thicker than water and you will do anything for your kids. You know, lots of grandparents out there … who are in poverty themselves, or single women, and it's pushing them further and further into poverty.’
Aspen enrolled in a social work degree.
‘I went to university because of him. I learnt what I learnt about early childhood development. I've met children with the most horrific disabilities, but I see them. I see who they are because of him.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.