Bexley and Kristie
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘Nearly everyone’ bullied Bexley in primary school, Kristie told the Royal Commission, because of her daughter’s ‘difference of behaviour’.
‘Sometimes she was hit and kicked in the playground, isolated, not allowed to play with other kids.’
The school blamed Bexley – ‘If only [Bexley] was different. If [Bexley] did something differently things would be fine.’
Bexley became suicidal.
‘I was driving her home from school one day and I looked in my rear-vision mirror and she had a ribbon around her neck and she was pulling it tight.’
Bexley saw the school psychologist but didn’t feel comfortable talking about what was happening. The school didn’t offer any further support.
Bexley moved to another school. Teachers were more supportive but the bullying continued.
‘She used to cry a lot and she said she was told she was a cry-baby … She also fell behind at school because she was so anxious at school that she wasn’t able to learn.’
In high school the abuse and isolation continued.
Bexley was uncomfortable doing oral presentations and became distressed if she made mistakes.
Kristie asked teachers for an alternative form of assessment but they believed it was important to make Bexley do the presentations.
Bexley became extremely anxious. She began self-harming and restricting her food intake.
She saw a specialist who diagnosed her with a number of mental health conditions and autism.
The school didn’t know how to support Bexley and she fell behind. She needed to repeat year 11 and decided to change schools.
At an extracurricular event, another student raped and assaulted Bexley.
‘He’d threatened her that if she told anyone that he would come to our house, so she was fearful of even being at our house.’
Bexley became suicidal and spent time in a mental health unit.
After a short while Bexley reported the rape and assault to police. Police interviewed her alone.
‘She didn’t involve me in her police sessions and I think what she heard from the police was, “You shouldn’t take this any further.”’
Bexley relapsed, she became suicidal and had to return to the mental health unit.
When she was ready to return, the school made it hard for her to come back. Kristie insisted the school keep Bexley and the perpetrator separated so she didn’t have to live in fear.
Their solution was to isolate Bexley – a young autistic person – in the library. They also insisted she had to make up ‘ever single hour’ of the work she missed. She was overwhelmed with classwork and assignments and couldn’t cope.
Bexley dropped out of school.
A short time later, she reengaged with a sport she loved and moved to a new club.
Initially they were accepting of her mental health conditions and autism.
But when she made the team and it came time to compete, they tried to exclude her. They said they were really worried Bexley would self-harm in the toilets or quit a week before competition.
‘They were just mean to her a lot of the times. They were rude. If she asked any questions, they’d make her feel like she was an idiot. They’d point out a lot of her autistic behaviours. It was like, “I don’t think she’s very nice because she doesn’t have eye contact, or she doesn’t eat food.”’
The club dropped Bexley from the team. She was traumatised. ‘It was basically the bullying that she had at school,’ Kristie said.
Bexley joined another club and started competing as an individual.
Her former coaches would turn up to competitions and ‘intimidate and harass her,’ Kristie said. ‘It was terrible.’
Bexley, now early 20s, recently completed year 12.
Kristie helped her access the NDIS and she is getting the support she needs.
‘There are a lot of things that she wants to achieve in her life.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.