Amari, Boden and Sal
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘Nobody wants to know about it, it just goes straight into the too-hard basket.’
Amari, early 40s, has an undiagnosed, non-specific intellectual disability and has been receiving the Disability Support Pension since she was 16. Her parents, Boden and Sal, worry about what will happen to her when they die.
As a child Amari’s physical and intellectual development was delayed and she missed regular milestones. She attended special disability schools and played Paralympic sport competitively.
Leaving school, Amari found a job in a restaurant. She enjoyed it initially but didn’t like working on her own and stopped attending. She has had odd jobs since then, such as being a jillaroo, but nothing has worked out.
Amari is frequently abusive to Boden and Sal and people she lives with. Her relationships with her siblings have broken down because of her behaviour.
‘[Amari] doesn’t get on with people … she distrusts people … she gets in a tantrum and just fires up,’ Sal said.
Boden and Sal bought Amari a house on a large property. The house wasn’t properly finished inside but Amari doesn’t mind. She lets chickens in the house and has pulled up the flooring.
Amari trashes many of the items Boden and Sal give her. Her house is filled with broken appliances. She has been through about nine cars.
Recently, after a ‘blue’ with a neighbour, Amari moved out. She took her dogs and is staying in a caravan park. She’s happy where she is – she just wants to be on her own.
Amari told Sal and Boden she has been raped twice and when she reported the rapes to police they didn’t do anything. She refuses to give them any more information. Sal tried to arrange for her to see a counsellor, but it didn’t work out.
Boden and Sal suspect Amari has a mental illness, but she has never been assessed. They would like to get a formal diagnosis so that she can get treatment and support. Boden believes Amari ‘falls through the gaps’ because she does not have a diagnosis.
One time, Boden arranged a mental health assessment for Amari and requested the assessors let him know when it was happening so he could arrange accommodation for Amari’s pets. On the day, Amari called Boden ‘shrieking her head off, hysterical’ and said there were people at her house. About 20 minutes later, Amari called Boden and said they had left.
Boden discovered two doctors had arrived to assess Amari without calling him. They spoke to her on her driveway for 20 minutes and didn’t look at the house or assess her living conditions. They told Boden, ‘There’s nothing wrong, [she’s] okay.’ Boden was disgusted. He argued, ‘If there is nothing wrong with her why is she on a disability pension?’
Sal arranged a meeting with an NDIA officer at Amari’s house. At the meeting, Amari said one of her goals was to work again.
The next day Amari called the officer confirming she wanted to sign up to the NDIS. The NDIA officer arranged for an assessment for Amari because she did not have a diagnosed disability.
During the assessment, the assessor told Amari she could not get the NDIS if she got a job.
Boden and Sal tried to contact the officer but received no response.
Boden doesn’t know what more they can do. ‘It’s gone on for so long, I’ve just tried so many things. I’ve just given up now.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.