Benedict
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘This is not a place for anyone with any type of mental health problem. They just treat us like we’re not even humans.’
Benedict is a First Nations man in his early 20s, currently in prison.
Benedict has mental health problems but prefers to keep quiet about them.
‘It makes you feel vulnerable … I’m not really open to people much, I just kind of hide it.’
He thinks this is why he ended up in prison without getting the chance to speak with a lawyer.
‘I think it was my disability. I didn't talk to no-one. I didn’t talk with my family and I was always by myself.'
Racism has made it worse.
‘I feel like racism is a part of my life … When you see the way they treat you, it just kind of puts me off. If you have a disability and you’re in jail … some people put you down.’
The lack of support makes him more depressed and anxious.
‘With my mental health, I do get stress. And I try not to show it … That’s why I should have talked to somebody … Just speak to someone. Bit of help.’
Prison conditions exacerbate psychosocial disabilities for inmates. Benedict said prison officers treat them like ‘a piece of dirt … like shit’.
‘They swear at us, we can’t swear at ’em. They give us food that – it’s leftovers … We all grew up in a hard life … I’ve seen things happen on the outside, I’ve seen things happen on the inside. Some people don’t understand, like, what’s happening in here.’
Benedict has friends with disability who also get a tough time.
‘Just yesterday, one of me good mates went to the DU, which is the detention unit. Just because the officer sweared, and he sweared back. And so they took him … Well, he has disability, meaning he couldn’t control it.’
Benedict wants the system to ‘deal with disability’.
‘Not just for myself ... for everyone. We do need more support … especially in this place. There was one bloke, he couldn’t actually speak or walk. He was in a wheelchair for a while. They just left him in here and didn’t care about him. Officers didn’t actually give a fuck about it. It was just sad to see him, like they don’t have a place for people with disability … I felt stressed. I felt anger. I wanted to tell the officers he’s in a very bad way. Put him in a place where he’d be cared for. Not this place. Pretty weird.’
Benedict spends his spare time writing songs for church and playing the guitar. He would like to see a group therapy session set up in prison.
‘I reckon it would help us all, sort out problems … Everybody in here, we all want to go home. Some of the men in here are really stressed … I just want them to share for themselves.’
He likes to help other inmates when he can.
‘Well if you could see the men’s faces in here. I’m trying to keep ’em happy. In a place like this, it’s really hard to cope. I see people … they’ve lost a lot. I’ve been here for seven years and I lost a lot of people that I really care about. But I didn’t share no emotion, because what can you do? That’s life. You just need someone to talk to.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.