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Demetrius and Zuni

Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.

Zuni’s nine-year-old son, Demetrius, lives with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

‘It’s been a struggle since he was in preschool with education,’ Zuni told the Royal Commission. ‘When you have the right teacher, that is a dream year. And when you don’t, it’s a nightmare.’

When Demetrius started primary school he had only just been diagnosed. His doctor informed the school of things Demetrius would ‘struggle with’ and gave them ‘a list of strategies they could use to easily divert his behaviour’.

But the school ignored this advice and said medication was the ‘only answer’ to his ‘problems with emotional regulation’.

Every time Zuni asked teachers to make allowances for him, they’d say ‘no, it’s the same rule as everybody else’.

‘They were reluctant to implement very, very simple measures … as simple as how you to talk to him.’

Teachers often ‘lectured’ Zuni on her son’s disruptive behaviour.

Once they asked her to come and ‘remove’ him from an athletics carnival. When she arrived she found Demetrius sitting with his school friends. ‘His behaviour wasn’t any different to any of the other children,’ Zuni said.

The school ‘pressured’ Zuni to discipline Demetrius, and ‘threatened suspensions … for violence’. ‘But he is not a violent child,’ she said.

On one occasion the principal rang and said Demetrius ‘kicked the goalkeeper’ while playing soccer. Because a younger child was involved, he said Demetrius should have known ‘to use less force’. The child’s parents said Demetrius was ‘a bully’ and ‘wanted the school to do something about it’.

‘This is the extent of it,’ Zuni said. ‘It is not like my child punched another child in the face.’ She told the school to be ‘reasonable’ – ‘It was a game of soccer.’

But she said the school persisted in blaming Demetrius.

‘Several times a week I was getting calls to discuss these kinds of incidents. The teacher would just launch into this petty thing that happened … It’s almost like they were looking for reasons to pin some of this stuff on him.’

She described the treatment as ‘derogatory and degrading’. ‘His teachers would discuss his behaviour with me, right in front of the other pupils and students.’

Zuni feels the school discriminated against Demetrius after she shared ‘all the information’ on his disability, ‘thinking it would help him’.

‘But it backfired and isolated him. And they have formed a view that has been kind of impossible to change.’

Eventually Demetrius got an individualised learning plan, but teachers kept telling Zuni they ‘can’t teach him … he needs a one-on-one all day’.

Zuni felt she had no choice but ‘to pull him out of school’.

‘He was refusing to go because he doesn’t trust his educators. They have let him down so many times.’

The social isolation has been ‘hugely impactful’ on Demetrius’s self-esteem.

‘He has been deprived of experiences and connections with other children. The impacts on his life and education and friendships are devastating, and the school has no idea.’

Zuni wants to get Demetrius back to school and ‘reengage his love of learning’.

‘Because he is a really intelligent child … But all that depends on if he is going to get a good teacher. Whether the school is okay.’

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Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.