Brigitta

Brigitta is in her 50s and has spinal muscular atrophy, a degenerative disability that causes muscle wasting. She uses a wheelchair and needs support for everyday activities.

‘Very few know of my fears. Appearing vulnerable and risking being abused again haunts me constantly,’ Brigitta said in a statement she read to the Royal Commission. ‘It has never been more important for me to tell my story and play a part in evoking change and creating a future free from fear.’

Brigitta said that when she was growing up, her home ‘was rarely a safe place’. Her mother, who lived with psychosis, was violent.

‘She would often become extremely agitated, and it was during these times that I would be physically abused as her manic reality took over.’

Brigitta remembers one day, as her father left for work, her mother screaming ‘We’ll all be dead by the time you get home.’ She also remembers a Christian group coming to her home and placing their hands on her to rid her ‘of the devil that lived within’.

‘[It] left me terrified and questioning, “Am I bad? What’s wrong with me?” Still today I am stopped and confronted in the street by those that believe through the power of prayer I can be saved, I can be healed.’

Brigitta said she struggled to find ‘a safe place to belong’ at high school. Although she was a high achiever, her school wouldn’t let her continue to years 11 and 12.

It was around then that Brigitta was ‘thrown out of home’.

‘To stop the physical abuse, I instinctively locked myself away in the bathroom, but with continual threats to break down the door and the escalation of the rage on the other side I hesitantly unlocked the door to cower once again to slaps to the face and then without thought of consequence I reactively fought back, resulting in me being sent away.’

A couple of years later, a boyfriend raped Brigitta and she became pregnant.

‘I was a young, naive, broken women and saw no other option than to have an abortion.’

She resumed her studies and started partying, but ‘struggled to find a sense of belonging’.

When she became pregnant at university, her doctor thought her symptoms were related to her disability.

‘At no time was I ever questioned or was it entertained that … I could be sexually active.’

Several years later, Brigitta left her children’s father.

‘Financially, we struggled and I would often go without a meal to ensure my children were fed and our rent and bills were paid. I missed out on many of my children’s schooling and sporting events as I did not have the means and the support to attend.’

After another abusive relationship, during which her partner controlled and punched her, Brigitta finished her studies.

‘Gaining independence and achieving some of my lifelong goals came at a cost.’

Her muscular atrophy has worsened and she spends more time in her wheelchair.

‘Not only have I lost mobility and function, but I have also lost my role as a mother, as my … daughter has today become my carer.’

Brigitta told the Royal Commission she fears becoming vulnerable again to abuse.

‘Optimistically I pray for a future free from neglect, abuse and violence for people living with a disability. However, realistically, I feel as though there will always be those that prey on some of our most vulnerable. I hope the Royal Commission can bring about better safeguards, practices and support systems for those that experience all forms of abuse and violence.’