Alfred

‘Solitary confinement for me is like a dull ache in your head. It just sits there. There is no escaping it … It just eats away at you, it destroys you.’

Alfred is a First Nations man with mental illness. He is in his 50s and has spent more than three decades in prison.

‘I’ve spent my entire life pretty much behind bars,’ he told the Royal Commission. ‘Since the age of 11, I’ve spent 18 months out of institutions.’

Alfred said being abused as a child played a hand in the ‘shocking behaviour’ and crimes that saw him end up in jail.

‘I was abused very young, from about the age of nine. And, you know, I often wonder if that abuse hadn’t happened, would I have fallen down that same path? I went on to abuse other people sexually, and it has literally consumed my life.’

Alfred is currently in a maximum-security prison and has spent more than six years in solitary confinement.

‘I cannot, express in words the stress, the trauma that is suffered as a result of being in solitary confinement for long … These environments are hard enough as it is, without having a mental illness. You just want to shut down. You want to sleep all the time. You become dehumanised.’

Solitary confinement exacerbates inmates’ mental health problems.

‘For guys that can’t actually control their stress and their depression and their emotions, they act out. They cut themselves. They kick doors. They scream. They self-harm … These sorts of behaviours are treated as behavioural issues. They’re not treated as mental illnesses.’

Alfred said ‘there is no rehabilitation’ for prisoners with mental health problems.

‘I’ve never gotten diagnosed … There are counsellors that are hired to come into these environments. But you can’t torture someone psychologically, emotionally and mentally and then offer them five minutes of counselling and expect that to sort of fill the gap.’

Because of the isolation and lack of mental health supports, he feels that prison has compounded his trauma.

‘It’s an isolated environment … It’s very rare that we get to speak with people. So that exacerbates any kind of mental illness. It is torture to have to endure these environments for long periods of time – there’s no stimulation. You are hanging on to maintain your sanity.’

Sometimes, it’s pushed him towards the edge.

‘I am not suicidal … but there are times when I sort of wish that there was an end to this existence. It has been that depressing, that stressful. And there’s just no end in sight. I mean, it’s that lack of any kind of end.’

Alfred said he’d also ‘been subjected to physical and sexual violence within the prison system’.

‘It’s a closed system. There’s no – there’s no external eyes on this place.’

He believes he will die in prison, and the lack of rehabilitation is partly to blame.

‘The crimes that I’ve committed, there’s no excuse for them … But there are factors that have contributed to my behaviour. And you know, prison has destroyed me as a human being. I don’t know if I could ever come back from what I’ve experienced.’

Alfred says the one thing in his favour has been education.

‘I have been lucky. I’ve found study. I studied and I’ve educated myself in prison. But for other prisoners who don’t have that, who don’t have that escape … They’re dead behind the eyes.’