Anne-Marie
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Anne-Marie is in her late 50s and lives with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
‘I developed post-traumatic stress disorder as a child … especially due to the violence at the hands of my father and my mother,’ she told the Royal Commission.
Anne-Marie said she was five or six years old when ‘feelings of terror started to be part of [her] memory’.
‘People shouting and screaming and running around at night and fighting … And my psychologist has helped me work out that PTSD pretty much manifested in me at that age. And to me this is the origin of disability in my life.’
In her teenage years, Anne-Marie said, her grandfather and ‘young men in the neighbourhood’ sexually abused her. When her mother found out, she ‘took a rod’ and beat her on her ‘bare backside’.
Anne-Marie became pregnant when she was 15. Her mother gave her an ultimatum to either work with her, as a prostitute, or leave home.
‘So I left home and I was 16 … and life was really hard. I was very isolated. I had no support services at all. They just didn't exist then.’
Anne-Marie couldn’t talk about her chronic trauma until she was in her late 30s.
‘I received no support or diagnosis or recognition … And so, I grew up with that as part of who I am … It will never go away. And really, I'm still learning how to live with it. It has been a long journey. Not only is the violence in itself a terrible thing, but the impact that it has on people like me for the rest of our lives.’
Anne-Marie also has autoimmune disorders including thyroid eye disease, which she puts down to her ‘trauma history’.
‘The damage to my eyes won't heal and that vision impairment plays into PTSD … Once I'm triggered I can't see properly and I can't focus.’
About four years ago, Anne-Marie got her doctorate. She is now teaching part time, but struggles.
‘The stresses produce responses within me that are difficult, and … in the workplace it's very challenging.’
She says her employer makes no adjustments for her.
‘I can't really explain to my employer what's happening for me. I can't talk about psychosocial disability … people don't understand it. They just think you're crazy and that you're probably not fit for work. And so, trying to have my particular needs accommodated is very difficult.’
Anne-Marie believes violence-induced disability is a huge social problem, yet largely unrecognised.
‘I think there are a great many women in particular, and some men out there, who have experienced horrific violence, who have disabilities resulting from that and who don't actually realise that they have a disability.’
She doesn’t feel anyone is speaking up about it and ‘would like to address those issues in public’.
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.