Serenity
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Serenity is in her 40s and is autistic.
‘I’ll straight up refer to autism as autistic spectrum condition, not autistic spectrum disorder,’ Serenity told the Royal Commission. ‘I don’t believe that autism is disabling. It is disabling [only] because of attitudes towards autistic people in society.’
Serenity also lives with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of domestic violence.
Serenity said that several years ago, her husband assaulted her.
‘He started being violent to my daughters as well. And because of that … the police got involved. And then child protection because of the domestic violence, [although] they weren’t aware that he was also being violent to the kids as well.’
Serenity said she didn’t tell child protection services of her husband’s violence towards the children because she was ‘scared of losing the kids’.
‘But I mean I thought … knowing that he was violent to me in front of the kids would be enough to get support to deal with his violence without losing the kids and without making the situation worse.’
Serenity said she has ‘the female presentation of autism’. ‘We tend to be loud and awkward and hand waving.’ She said her husband is manipulative and was able to convince the police that she was the abuser.
‘One of the incidents they attended … he slammed my arm in a … door and I had bruises from mid-forearm right up to nearly my shoulder … They definitely saw them. They claimed that I was the aggressor.’
Serenity made a complaint to the police about the violence, but says they ‘won’t even look at the evidence’.
‘Even when I’ve reported some of the other assaults from my [now] ex-husband with evidence, with witnesses, it’s just been swept under the carpet.’
When Serenity took out a domestic violence order (DVO) against her husband, he took one out against her.
‘He made complaints to the police that text messages about my daughter’s welfare breached the DVO. And the police charged me.’
Child protection services then became involved.
‘They took the attitude of, because I’m weird and awkward and talk loudly … I must be the bad guy and my poor, poor husband was the sweet innocent little victim. And this continued even after he admitted to punching me in front of the kids and incidents like that. They still acted like I was the bad guy. I must be mentally ill because he said so.’
Serenity said her ex-husband has custody of her daughter while a custody case is before the court. She is representing herself because she can’t afford a lawyer.
‘It took [several years] to get a final hearing … And the judge’s constant criticism saying that my affidavits were poorly written and jump all over the place, which is part of my ADHD, which is why I needed a lawyer. But I didn’t have one.’
Serenity said that during one hearing, a psychologist told the court that people with autism and ADHD were ‘basically … a danger to children’.
‘And my worry is that if he gets what he wants, which is sole custody and to cut me out of her life, that he will go back to physically abusing her.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.