Damari
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘When I went to homeless services that were designed by people who have experienced violence and are homeless, I was told, “This program is for women and children only.” … So, there’s women and children, not so much for guys out there.’
Damari, early 40s, has autonomic dysfunction, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Until a few years ago, he lived at home with his mother and father.
He told the Royal Commission that his father physically and verbally abused him ‘on a daily basis’.
Damari’s mother was his carer and he said he ‘lost [his] independence’ and stayed at home longer than he should have.
‘It eventually took its toll on me where I got PTSD. I started to recognise that I had to get out of there, because I was seeing for the first time physical manifestations, like, where I was not functioning, and I was having nightmares about it.’
A short time ago, Damari’s father told him he wanted to have him ‘locked away’. He rang an ambulance and told paramedics Damari had schizophrenia. They took him to hospital but doctors released him immediately. One of the paramedics told Damari his father was abusing him and there were people who could help him.
A short time later, Damari went to police and obtained an intervention order against his father.
His father went to police two days later and accused Damari of being violent. He also told police Damari had schizophrenia. Damari believes, because of that, police thought he was ‘making things up’.
Police arrested Damari and officers started referring to him as ‘that guy who thinks he doesn’t have schizophrenia’.
The judge was more understanding and granted him bail, but he had to stay away from his parents.
Damari moved to a motel, but his only income was the Disability Support Pension and he couldn’t afford to stay.
‘I ended up homeless for three months,’ he said.
‘I tried to go for one of my relatives to charge my phone and they didn’t want to have anything to do with me because … my father had then gone and done this smear campaign of telling the same lies to all the family, friends and relatives. So, I was basically ostracised and cut off from everyone.’
Eventually he found some supported disability accommodation and was able to stay for two weeks.
He moved to a private rental where he lived for a year and a half. But when the owner of the property died, Damari became homeless again.
He tried to get some support through victims of crime but he was seen as the perpetrator and was unable to access their services.
Damari is in the process of trying to find public housing.
‘At the moment I feel like I’m still stuck in survival mode. I’m taking it day to day.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.