Ric and Debbie
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Ric, 13, is autistic and non-verbal. ‘You don’t think he’s paying attention or listening, but he’s taking in every single word you’re saying,’ his mum Debbie told the Royal Commission.
Ric uses showering to self-soothe when his emotions escalate. ‘The hot water just kind of settles him down where he can gather his thoughts and get back to thinking straight,’ Debbie said.
As Ric got older, Debbie insisted he be with a male education assistant if he needs to use the shower at school. ‘Being Aboriginal, when the boys get to a certain age, the father figure takes over tending to them.’ Debbie later discovered the principal ‘didn’t even bother writing this down’.
When Ric was in the last year of primary school, he ‘started acting strangely’. He was weeing over the furniture and ‘painting faeces on the wall’. He was often distraught. He didn’t want to go to school and would get upset when he arrived.
The school started contacting Debbie to collect Ric because he was ‘putting the other children at risk’. When Debbie picked him up the teachers and education assistants would look at her ‘weird’. ‘I felt like they were judging me as a mother and I’ve done something wrong.’
Debbie’s mum had passed away earlier in the year. Ric was very close to his grandmother and Debbie thought he might be grieving. She let the principal know Ric was going through ‘this grieving process’ and might need some help.
A couple of days later, the principal showed Debbie a video of Ric that had been recorded three months earlier. He was ‘in the shower and naked’. A female education assistant was recording him, and another was showering him down with the shower hose.
‘I just fixed on him … he knew they were recording him. He was getting more and more distraught.’ Debbie’s first thought was to pull Ric out of school immediately.
She was shocked the education assistants had filmed Ric in the shower, that the education assistants were female and that the principal had taken so long to show her the video.
Debbie discovered there were three videos of Ric in the shower. The principal told her the education assistants were filming him throughout the day to create ‘an escalation profile’ to see what was triggering him. ‘But on that actual iPad, there was no other recording of that day. It was just three recordings of the bathroom.’
The principal said she didn’t see ‘any sinister intent’ in the recording and wasn’t going to report it to police.
Debbie made a complaint to the education department. The department didn’t apologise and insisted it was ‘the family’s expectations’ that Ric be showered by a male.
‘But it wasn’t our expectations – it was [Ric]’s needs … They weren’t acknowledging our cultural needs and the way that we are as family, for our boy to be showered by males, not females.’
Debbie tried to explain to the teachers and principal how Ric felt. ‘The teachers laughed it off’ saying they didn’t have enough staff for Debbie’s ‘expectations’.
Debbie would like a ‘formal apology from those involved’ so Ric can ‘move on’. But the education department ‘won’t even allow’ the education assistants to apologise.
Ric has transitioned to high school and is ‘doing really well at the moment’. He has a male First Nations support worker at school. Ric is gradually attending school more often.
‘This week is the first week that he’s actually gone to school the whole day for a whole week.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.