Nathanael

‘If mum and dad had looked after me in the proper way, half the stuff would never have happened to me.’

Nathanael, in his 50s, has a cognitive disability. He told the Royal Commission his father was a ‘bastard’ and ‘treated the family hard’. Nathanael was particularly vulnerable. ‘I had a disability – he thought he could get away with anything.’

One time Nathanael was helping his father build a shed. His father told him to hold something steady, but it was difficult. His father drilled the drill bit through Nathanael’s arm, into the tendons. He didn’t say sorry and didn’t take Nathanael to the doctor. Nathanael still has a very visible scar.

At school, the other boys bullied Nathanael relentlessly. They ‘picked on’ him because of his voice and the way he spoke. He was slower than the others and they taunted him because he wasn’t smart. ‘I was very scared.’

Nathanael told his parents. His father called him ‘soft’ and told him to stand up for himself. Nathanael became ‘too scared to say anything’.

Nathanael never went to secondary school.

In his 20s, Nathanael delivered catalogues to homes in the area. A gang of kids would take the catalogues and throw them on the road. One time they assaulted him and tried to ‘rip [his] head off’. A passing motorist intervened and asked him if he wanted to go to the police. He was too scared.

‘Every time they picked on me it got worse and worse and worse.’ Nathanael thought they would kill him and asked his father for help. His father told him to tough it out and ‘just be a man’. ‘When it came to me he wouldn’t do anything for me …that hurt me so much.’ Nathanael ‘lost it’ and ‘went off his head’. His mother called the doctor who gave him drugs to calm him down. ‘I was forced to leave home, otherwise I would kill dad.’

Nathanael went to live in emergency disability accommodation. He was suicidal and asked for help. Disability services assessed him as ‘too smart’ and told him he was not eligible for support. He stayed for three months but said his mental health was worse when he left.

After some time in respite accommodation, Nathanael lived in supported accommodation with two other men. In those days, he said, he didn’t know how to say ‘no’. One of the other residents pestered him to get involved with a woman who already had a boyfriend. Nathanael didn’t want to and tried to ignore him. The man ended up damaging Nathanael’s car to get his attention. Nathanael reported him to the police but they couldn’t do anything because there wasn’t enough evidence.

Nathanael was distressed and ended up having a ‘second breakdown’. The doctor viewed him as ‘a danger to life’ and medicated him. Nathanael was desperate for more help but the accommodation provider said he was too dangerous and refused to support him anymore.

A few years later, Nathanael became involved in a sexual relationship with a co-worker at the disability enterprise where he worked. He tried to end the relationship but she threatened to tell her mother. Nathanael was scared he would lose his job so stayed in the relationship.

Two years later the woman told her mother about their relationship. Her mother asked the enterprise to sack Nathanael and tried to obtain a restraining order. Nathanael attempted suicide and cut his wrists.

Nathanael’s employer and his social worker helped him to get mental health support. He continues to work for the same disability enterprise and lives on his own with disability support five days a week. He likes a woman who treats him like a ‘real person’ and hopes one day she will be his girlfriend.

Nathanael says he has learnt ‘the hard way’ to say no to people. ‘The last seven years of my life have been the best years of my life because I’ve got myself what I needed to get through.’