Avi, Harlee, Fay and Jeffrey
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Fay and Jeffrey have been ‘on call 24/7’ for their granddaughter Harlee since she was born. They described her as a ‘strange child’, and they struggled to find anyone to help her.
At 13, Harlee was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. A few years later she became pregnant.
Fay and Jeffrey told the Royal Commission that Harlee was in a violent relationship when she gave birth to her baby boy. She was using drugs and slept most of the time. Avi was left to crawl around and if he woke Harlee she screamed at him. Raised voices are a ‘big trigger’ for him, Fay said.
By the age of two, Avi was starting to show signs of anger and frustration. At childcare he would ‘get very angry and bite,’ Fay said. By his final year he was ‘very angry’ and staff suggested ‘something was wrong’.
Fay tried to get an appointment with a specialist, but it took more than a year for him to be diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and autism.
Fay described Avi’s primary school as ‘our family, our support’. Avi broke windows and equipment and kicked teachers, but the staff were ‘brilliant’. The school engaged a psychiatrist and tried to coordinate as much support as possible. They paid for school camps and allowed Fay to accompany Avi.
Avi is ‘mad keen’ on cars and animals and now attends a high school with a workshop and farm. But the transition has been very difficult as staff are not sufficiently trained to manage him. He attends school on reduced hours, but rarely lasts more than 20 minutes. Recently Jeffrey had to collect him after he assaulted four teachers and smashed a printer.
‘He can be an angel for a while,’ Jeffrey said, ‘but I’ve never seen a human being so complex.’
Avi has had four different NDIS behaviour management plans but they have never been followed through because providers and therapists discontinue treatment. ‘Nobody’s lasted,’ Fay said.
One psychologist stopped halfway through an appointment and told Fay there was no point bringing Avi back because he wasn’t listening. The psychologist made a coffee while Fay carried her screaming great-grandchild outside. Another psychologist did a one-off assessment but wouldn’t take him on. Another refused ‘point blank’ to treat him.
As Avi gets older his behaviours are getting worse. He has destroyed his great-grandparents’ fridges, TVs, doors and windows. The last time he stayed with them he gave Fay a black eye and she caught him looking up ‘how to kill Nan’ online.
‘That scared me,’ Fay said. She called the police and the officer said he wouldn’t leave until they found Avi some respite or support. The officer rang everywhere but no-one would take Avi. Fay had no choice but to send him back to his mother.
Fay and Jeffrey believe Harlee’s house is not a safe place for Avi to live. Harley is living with mental illness and a number of different people are squatting in her home, some of whom Fay describes some as ‘dangerous’.
Recently Avi stole his great-grandparents’ car. He had a weapon and said he was going to rob a fast food restaurant. Police told Fay and Jeffrey they could charge him but nothing would happen because he has a disability.
The school has sent child services to the house on a number of occasions but they don’t do anything because there is nowhere for Avi to go. The department has advised Fay and Jeffery to give up guardianship. The family don’t want to do this and can’t understand why this is the only option for a child and family to access supports.
Fay and Jeffery would like to see Avi working with cars or on a farm. Jeffery said when he takes him carting he is the fastest around the track.
‘There’s got to be something out there for him,’ Fay said. ‘There’s got to be a safe place for him somewhere.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.