Dallas
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Dallas is in their 20s and lives with an eating disorder and autism.
Dallas was a high achiever at school and enjoys art and reading. Dallas began to lose weight dramatically after starting high school.
‘I had lost about 21 kilograms in total in a short period of time,’ Dallas told the Royal Commission. ‘Your brain, with the dysmorphia, it tells you [eating] will have this balloon effect and your brain will tell you that you will put on five kilograms if you eat a sandwich.’
When Dallas’s health deteriorated, doctors admitted them to a hospital paediatric unit where the nurses ‘didn’t have much training’ in eating disorders.
‘I remember hearing the nurses on different shifts saying, “I have the eating disorder girls.” That made me feel like I was nothing but my illness.’
Dallas, who now identifies as queer and ‘at the time identified as a lesbian’, said a psychiatrist told them they would ‘get better’ once they got a boyfriend.
The psychiatrist prescribed antidepressants and discharged Dallas. A change to the medication then ‘led to a decline in [their] mental state’.
‘My brain just felt like it was being shredded. It was just coming apart. I collapsed on the floor in the kitchen. Mum asked me if I needed to go to the hospital and I said yes.’
They were admitted to a hospital psychiatric ward.
‘If you have an eating disorder and you present in that level of distress, you don’t get to go in the eating disorder unit; you go into the psych ward. Psych wards have no training in, or understanding of, eating disorders.’
Dallas was given antipsychotic drugs and became suicidal.
‘One of the nurses took me into a medical room and they just give you more medication. I was sobbing saying I didn’t want to be alive and she told me suicide is the coward’s way out and that I was being weak.’
After six months on a waiting list, Dallas was admitted to an eating disorder clinic.
‘They had daily activities, occupational therapists, writing therapy, poetry. We had a wonderful psychologist who would come in and we would do classes on different psychology stuff. Educating us about it as well as giving us strategies for ourselves.’
That support helped Dallas take control of the eating disorder.
‘This one psychologist would take me to the kitchen and work with me to make my sandwich. At meal times sometimes she would bring her own lunch and eat with us. This normalised having lunch and having a varied lunch.’
Dallas said the difficulty now is getting a job.
‘It can … be difficult when you apply for jobs and they just look at your resume and say no. You can’t say, “These are my barriers,” and “This is why I have these gaps [in the resume]”.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.