Emilia
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Emilia has a degenerative disease that affects her communication and mobility.
COVID-19 lockdowns and restrictions severely affected Emilia’s quality of life. Many of her activities were cancelled and she was confined to her flat for most of the year. She couldn’t even access her garden because the building needed repairs.
Emilia realised she needed more support but didn’t have the funding and refused to go to an aged care home. Her husband is in a home. She said, ‘He hates it there and is unable to get out.’
‘I surmised towards the end of last year that soon I won’t be able to live alone. So therefore, attempted suicide and am very cross to still be alive.’
Emilia told the Royal Commission she made a rational decision to take a suicide drug she bought overseas many years ago. ‘Unfortunately although I took enough to kill a horse it had lost its potency.’
She spent a week in hospital and was interviewed by a number of psychiatrists.
‘Silly me, I was my usual frank self, and this resulted in my being forcibly removed in a lock up van to … [a different] hospital where I was imprisoned in the mental health ward.’
Emilia attempted to get legal representation but it was extremely difficult.
She felt trapped. ‘I was treated like a criminal despite the fact that suicide is legal ... I was not allowed out of bed, not even to use my wheelchair.’
Because of COVID restrictions visitors were turned away and she was denied access to her physical therapist.
Emilia continued to be interviewed by a barrage of psychiatrists and clinicians who refused to tell her what was going on or how long she would be there.
After three weeks flat on her back Emilia developed pressure sores and fungal infections.
‘Fortunately, I kicked up such a stink at the time and knew my rights, I was eventually released.’
Back home she regained some strength, but continues to deteriorate.
‘I am concerned that it is now very difficult to get me out of my chair and everyone who comes by to take me out has a real workout.’
Emilia doesn’t expect this year to be much better than last year and says she ‘must do it [suicide] again’ to avoid ‘the humiliation of high residential care’.
Emilia hopes no-one else has to go through the ordeal she went through.
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.