Victoria
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘Don't just see the mental illness, don't just see the disability, see the whole person and their whole life experience in interaction.’
Victoria was raped by her boyfriend when she was 15. Subsequently she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and began abusing drugs and alcohol. In her early 20s she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Victoria is now in her 30s. She told the Royal Commission she only recently became aware of the impact of the untreated trauma on her life when she was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), 15 years after the rape.
‘This life shattering and deeply traumatic event was never explored or unpacked in any therapeutic way. My mental illnesses were being “treated” without any discussing, exploring, or measuring of the impact that a rape has on a person or me.’
Shortly after the rape, Victoria told her sister and then buried the trauma ‘deeply in [her] brain’. She began drinking so heavily she would later develop pancreatitis.
On her twenty-first birthday, Victoria was admitted to a hospital psychiatric ward. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
‘During sessions in hospital, l mentioned my rape once, but it was never mentioned again by these doctors or myself. So poor was my understanding of trauma at the time.’
She was later treated for her mental health conditions by a number of psychologists and psychiatrists. She told all of them about the rape but none of them mentioned it again. Looking back, Victoria wonders if her symptoms would have been better treated as trauma.
‘What if my sleeplessness, tight chest, panic attacks, rapidly beating heart or high levels of fear were discussed and treated in the context of my rape and trauma? What if the very real day-to-day impacts on my body and mind were treated in the context of mental illness and trauma, rather than just a result of my bipolar, or maybe add another diagnoses to the list? The diagnostic overshadowing of my body and mind's responses to trauma caused me to suffer unnecessarily.’
It was only later in life when Victoria was trying to become pregnant that a new psychiatrist, helping her discontinue medication prescribed to treat her bipolar disorder, diagnosed her with PTSD related to the rape.
‘It was in the process of developing my birthing plan that I came fully face to face with how significantly this trauma can invade a person’s life, mind and body.’
During the birth of her child, Victoria experienced frightening flashbacks to her rape. She wishes she had received ‘an appropriate clinical and therapeutic response’ earlier in her life so she didn’t have to give birth still traumatised.
‘Despite being in clinical settings for a number of years, I was not given treatment for my trauma. I can only assume that this is because my psychiatrists and psychologists lacked the skills to do this.’
She wants mental health professionals to assume that abused women have been traumatised and treat for trauma straight away, before symptoms emerge.
Victoria has trained as a social worker and has worked with women and children experiencing violence. She has the impression that if she reported her rape today, she would not be believed, or her mental illness would mitigate her complaint.
‘In my interactions with institutions such as child protection and police I have learnt that these are still extremely unsafe spaces for women and girls with disabilities, including mental illness.’
She recommended more funding for services dealing with trauma, and that all frontline staff be better trained to recognise trauma.
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.