Cai

Cai is from South East Asia. She came to Australia with her husband and young son in the mid-2000s. She has a psychosocial disability.

Cai told the Royal Commission the relationship between her and her husband was volatile from the beginning and that he was often violent and abusive towards her.

She contacted the police on many occasions but she was always met with indifference. ‘The police think I am crazy,’ she said, ‘so they do nothing’.

Socially isolated and living in a community with different cultural norms and no connection to formal support networks, Cai endured this abuse for many years.

Cai recalled one instance when she feared for her life. She called the police to protect her and they issued an apprehended violence order (AVO) against her husband. But Cai said the AVO did not stop her husband coming to her home to terrorise her.

During this time, her husband also tried to isolate Cai from her close-knit cultural community. He would come to her place at night, screaming outside her house – hoping to also wake up the neighbours. He would scream insults and claims of infidelity for all to hear.

Cai’s isolation was exacerbated by her low‐level English literacy skills. Her husband prevented her from enrolling in English classes. He also refused to let her drive.

After years of abuse, Cai’s mental health deteriorated. She felt like her life was falling apart and feared for her life.

Finally, sick of the ‘humiliating and demeaning’ abuse, she sought help from an advocate to get a divorce. It was time to start living life on her own terms.

But Cai’s husband had other ideas. He began stalking her, arriving at her home unannounced, entering without permission and refusing to leave.

One terrible night, Cai felt pushed to her limit. When her ex‐husband barged into her home and threatened her life, she tried to defend herself and reacted with violence.

Cai told us this cost her her children, who were taken into care. She has now been granted visitation rights on a fortnightly basis and is working hard to get them back.

‘I love my kids.’

Cai understands the priority is to make her home safe so her children can return. Her children have a caseworker to support their needs, but Cai feels she too would greatly benefit from a dedicated caseworker to help her develop the skills she needs to have her children living safely back in her home.

She believes that with a dedicated caseworker who would focus on her strengths, support her to learn English, learn to drive and achieve other goals, she could gain confidence to make other changes in her life.

‘It is just as important for the parents to be supported to develop skills when it comes to keeping families together,’ Cai told us.

Cai also said culturally competent programs should be developed for different community groups to improve mental health literacy. She feels there is negative stereotyping in some communities that stops family members seeking support for the person experiencing mental health issues.

And if a person is socially and geographically isolated from family, as Cai has been, there is no support at all.

Cai also thinks victims of family violence should have support people, such as mental health workers or disability advocates, with them when attending interviews with police or child protection staff. She wants police to make referrals to appropriate specialist agencies that are able to provide intervention and other services to help victims and their family members.