Gregor and Bess
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Gregor, a teenager, is autistic and has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.
His mother Bess lives in regional Australia. When she spoke to the Royal Commission, she was selling her house to move to a city ‘where there’s medical help’. She said Gregor’s psychiatrist was on holiday leaving Gregor without a refill prescription for his medication. There’s no other psychiatrist available in the area.
‘He's fairly unsupported. Other than all of those dramas, 99 per cent of the time he is calm, fantastic, engaged and a thoroughbred of a human … but if he has a violent psychotic attack I might not be safe.’
Bess is separated from Gregor’s father. When Gregor was in primary school, she worked part-time in their regional town. His school complained he was disruptive and ‘didn’t have the funding’ to support him.
‘I kind of go, “Look he seems to be fine everywhere in the world but with what's going on at your school.”’
The school told her to quit her job so she could take him home ‘whenever they had an issue’.
‘I have the letter from [the school] to Centrelink telling Centrelink that I needed to go on the carer’s pension because of my son.’
Bess said she did her best to support both the school and her son.
‘It seemed to be the avalanche just started to crash on me from then … There’s not enough support for the primary caregiver.’
Bess said she became ‘chained to that school’ and even had trouble getting dental appointments because the dentist was in another town and she ‘needed to be five minutes away [from the school] at all times’.
One day a teacher told Gregor to leave class. In his frustration, he indirectly caused minor property damage. When one of the school staff couldn’t reach Bess on her mobile, they called the police.
‘He's not interacted with property or person. He's been standing quietly in the principal’s office.’
When the police officer arrived, Gregor walked away and the officer followed and ‘wrestled’ him.
‘You’ve got a very small boy being held in a kind of, they call it a basket hold, where you're off the ground, you can’t breathe … That hold goes for about five or six minutes.’
The school wouldn’t let Gregor return.
‘That has set up the most disastrous ongoing nightmare and we already had support issues and now we've just got an ongoing nightmare with authority.’
Bess said Gregor was well-behaved outside school before that incident and wanted to be police officer.
‘[After the incident] the first thing he said to me was, “I don’t want to be a policeman anymore.”’
Bess has custody of Gregor, but after the incident child protection became involved. Because there was no other school he could attend in the area, he moved away to live with his father.
‘I lost my son. Now, unfortunately … [his father] was in complete denial there was ever any issues with his son on any level [and] as soon as he hit high school basically he was expelled very quickly.’
Bess said Gregor had no supports at high school and eventually his father ‘threw him out’.
‘He’d go up against police there and get thrown in paddy wagons because he’d react to them … The police officer just touched him and that was enough to set off the most insane violent reaction.’
Bess recently brought Gregor back to live with her in the regional town, where she still struggles to get support.
‘I'm back on the carer’s pension … I just wish someone had actually supported me when he was nine and 10 so I'm not in this situation now, instead of having him taken off me and it being worse, been made worse and worse and worse.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.