Hassan
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Hassan is in his 30s and is autistic.
‘I was told by my mother that I was a difficult child, that my brother and sister were not like me,’ Hassan told the Royal Commission. ‘Reflecting back I was exhibiting autistic behaviours and … you know, I was physically punished for it.’
Psychologists diagnosed Hassan’s autism a couple of years ago, after a domestic violence incidence during which his wife tried to take his daughter from his arms.
‘I stupidly pushed her and she called the police. Police came, I was arrested and charged and I was also issued with an intervention order … For the record, I am remorseful. I accept that my behaviour and reaction on that day was not right.’
Hassan said although his wife had ‘punched and slapped’ him and is verbally abusive, he didn’t realise her behaviour might also be considered domestic violence until he started a compulsory program for male perpetrators.
‘When you start questioning or start explaining your experience [during the program], you were either forced or guilt tripped to accept this mantra … that all men are the only perpetrators of family violence … The program also took the position that no matter how hard, disability is not the cause of violence.’
Hassan said the ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach to domestic violence doesn’t help autistic men learn how to control their behaviour.
After being charged, Hassan couldn’t return home and moved in with his mother, who didn’t believe his ‘western diagnosis’ of autism.
‘She doesn’t want to recognise my autistic traits and she tells me that I need to be a better person.’
Hassan and his wife divorced. He said a report written for the court stated he would ‘never make a good parent because of [his] autism’.
‘To me this is … discriminatory, but I don’t have a way to lodge a complaint.’
Hassan said that the system made him ‘regret’ being male, but didn’t offer autistic men help.
‘Instead of understanding the context of our offending and providing someone with no criminal history and of low risk ways to work on their behaviour, I felt that I was categorised into the same category of those that committed appalling violence.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.