Topaz

Topaz, in her early 40s, is Deaf.

Topaz has two children. She ended her relationship with their father because of his violence and abuse. After the couple separated they split the care of the children, an arrangement that worked amicably for years.

‘The kids were happy and we had a good life,’ she told the Royal Commission.

The situation changed when Topaz started a new relationship and her ex-partner claimed full custody of the children.

‘I was very shocked. I didn’t understand what was happening,’ she said. ‘I couldn’t understand why this would happen, because we had this shared arrangement. It was a very confusing time. I was very confused by how this started.’

Throughout the events that followed, Topaz experienced discrimination because of her deafness.

‘I’ve gone through a lot the past few years, and I’ve suffered a lot of abuse at the hands of the system,’ she said.

In seeking to deny Topaz access to the children, her ex-partner made up stories about her and reported her to child protection. She had to submit to an assessment process where a child protection supervisor observed her interactions with her children. The supervisor had no knowledge of Auslan.

‘And they were so incredibly impatient with me. They accused me of being violent and aggressive because I was using my voice loudly and I was gesturing and using signs with the kids … They would make comments like “Why are you talking like that? Why are you using your hands like that?” And I would try to explain to her, “I’m not being rude, I’m just Deaf. This is how I communicate.” And she would comment on why I’m always frowning and – you know, that’s a grammatical feature of Auslan. It’s a thing we do when we’re asking a question.’

The custody claim was eventually heard in the Family Court, where her ex-partner claimed she was not a good mum and that because of her deafness she couldn’t look after the children.

‘He made me feel very small. He belittled me,’ Topaz said. ‘My ex didn’t understand what it was like to be in a Deaf family in terms of a cultural perspective and didn’t understand that children of Deaf adults have their own culture and are a bit different.’

Child protection didn’t understand either.

‘They didn’t understand the dynamic of having Deaf parents. They were discriminatory. I was heartbroken by some of the things they claimed, because they also thought … I couldn’t parent because I was Deaf,’ she said.

‘And the Family Court system didn’t look very favourably on me and was believing what was said by my ex.’

Communication issues made everything harder. Topaz had to provide her own Auslan interpreter, and no concessions were made to the difficulty of the interpreter’s task. People spoke quickly and over the top of one another. Her ex-partner’s lawyer made fun of the interpreter’s signs.

‘I ended up walking out of there in disgust at how I was treated. And there was nothing I could do about it. It’s not right, that there’s nothing – you know, I was trying to do something very serious in court that day. It had a huge impact on my family, on my children. And everyone there thought I was a joke and treated me like I was a joke.’

The magistrate found against Topaz, who had to relinquish custody of the children to her ex-partner. She believes this outcome was deeply unfair. She says people with disability get ‘picked on’.

‘Sometimes it might only be minor disability like blindness or deafness. Family law uses that as a weapon against people … [It’s] used as a reason for separating parents from children,’ she told the Royal Commission.

‘I think changes need to happen in family law … I think our child protection services definitely need some serious overhaul.’