Millie and Gemma

Millie is autistic and in her teens. She also has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).

Gemma, her mother, realised when Millie started prep ‘there was definitely something going on’, but she wasn’t diagnosed for another six years. Teachers kept telling her ‘that too many children were being diagnosed with autism and she was perfectly fine’.

‘There wasn't seemingly too many issues at school. The issues were where she would hop in the car after school and she would be throwing drink bottles at me. Huge big meltdowns … Then be able to get really wonderful marks in class but be terribly behaved for me at home.’

Millie was clearly ‘really upset about many things after school about what had happened during the day’. Gemma was constantly going to the school with her concerns ‘and it would often be dismissed’.

‘I just felt like I was this squeaky wheel and no-one wanted to help. I pulled her out of school in grade 1 and we homeschooled her for about nearly two years.’

When Millie returned to school, it was ‘very obvious in all of her report cards’ that she had ‘social emotional issues, not academic’. But teachers continued to say there was nothing wrong with her.

‘The dismissiveness really stopped me from getting that early intervention. Looking back now, it breaks my heart because of where we ended up.’

Gemma sent Millie to another school for grade 5. Soon after, she received ‘a very comprehensive diagnosis’ at a private clinic – yet to be verified by a paediatrician.

‘She had ADHD, ODD … every acronym that you can think of … So we gave the paperwork to the school but they refused to acknowledge it or make any adjustments that I was requesting.’

Without any supports, Millie was self-harming and had very ‘low self-worth’. Again, Gemma pulled her out of school and put her into distance education.

‘She was hanging off the side of my car. Huge meltdown. Punching windows. Screaming … It was just out of control by that stage and I still was on the phone to occupational therapists just begging for appointments.’

Gemma thought Millie’s high school was going to be a ‘golden ticket’.

‘They had all of these beautiful inclusive things that we could access and I thought, oh my goodness, she might come home and feel like she’s been nurtured.’

But the school never gave Millie access to the inclusive learning centre, and suspended her for her behaviours. They didn’t have ‘the understanding or the resources’ to support her, Gemma said.

Meanwhile she was trying to get Millie NDIS supports. Local area coordinators kept telling her she ‘can't access mental health because she has autism’.

‘Without them looking at my evidence … They would just blow me off.’

Millie’s mental health went downhill. She was becoming increasingly violent and was having suicidal ideation.

‘And mental health would say we can't help you, she has autism. Go back to the doctor. It was just this constant cycle. Like I was just never getting the help for [Millie] that she desperately needed.’

In the early 2020s, after an overdose and several hospitalisations, Millie ‘finally’ got NDIS funding and mental health supports.

She is at a new school which focuses ‘on engaging the children’ instead of imposing rigid rules.

‘[Millie] is a very exuberant personality. She likes to push boundaries and it seems like they don't really worry too much about those things. She's doing well at the moment … especially academically. I think if she's supported well enough she can absolutely be the vet she wants to be.’