Lexie
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘What they said in the orphanage is that we'd all amount to nothing. And I don't want to feel like that. I want to feel like I achieve something in my life, or become something.’
Lexie is a 60-year-old First Nations woman living with anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and chronic medical conditions. She has panic attacks and self-harms.
As a child Lexie lived in an orphanage run by a church, and then with a foster family.
Lexie told the Royal Commission that staff at the orphanage and members of her foster family emotionally, sexually and physically abused her.
In primary school, teachers told Lexie she had ‘special needs’ but she doesn’t remember getting additional support.
She attended several primary and high schools and there were always problems with her records.
‘My name got changed so many times, everywhere you went. And then your education stuff's in all different names.’
Lexie was bullied and physically abused at every school she attended.
She developed anxiety and extreme nervousness, which caused incontinence. Staff would then punish her for being incontinent.
Lexie said the problems with her records made it hard to get a job. ‘When you go to go for a job, you've gotta prove who you are, and it's been … messy.’
Lexie wanted to work as a teacher aide but was not able to because she struggles to read and write. ‘There's not much out there I'm qualified for.’
Lexie works as a cleaner in a special needs school. ‘I felt very comfortable working there, because of my own literacy and health issues.’
Recently, she has had to take leave because the work causes her severe pain. She sometimes spends days in bed following a shift because of her sciatic condition.
Lexie has discovered that acupuncture and massage help her manage the pain.
‘They take all my pain out of my whole body … I can get around for a good week or a week and a half after I've attended that.’
She asked the NDIS to fund these therapies but they refused, ‘which is really upsetting’.
She also wanted the NDIS to help her with her literacy. They told her someone could take her to the library, but she feels ‘there could be more achieved’.
Lexie is critical of Centrelink. She believes staff don’t understand and adequately support First Nations people with disability. She finds the application process frustrating and discriminatory.
‘My voluntary work is what I really like to do,’ Lexie said. She visits families and takes food packages to people in the community. To help fund her transport costs, she applied for the Centrelink Mobility Allowance but was unsuccessful.
Lexie is very worried about what will happen to her when she gets older. She doesn’t want to end up in a facility run by a church.
‘I do worry about aged care, and a lot of our people … We've sort of lost a lot of faith in religion, Christianity … because [of] many of the things they did to me in the home, with the devil and the scaring tactics … I want to just see more healing, a healing journey for a lot of our people. A sense of belonging somewhere.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.