Alessia and Nash
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
Alessia is a mother in her early 50s and each of her children has disability. Alessia herself is autistic and has post-traumatic stress disorder and a neurodegenerative disorder. She told the Royal Commission she has struggled with social interactions most of her life, but has nonetheless built a notable career and ran a successful business with her partner.
As a teenager, Alessia was sexually abused by her mother’s boyfriend. The abuse caused her to start drinking.
Alessia confided in the school counsellor about the abuse. When the information ‘got out’, the principal called Alessia a liar and Alessia’s mother forced her to leave home. She moved in with her father.
In her late 20s, a doctor prescribed antidepressants. Alessia had no support in managing this medication and believes it ‘completely changed’ her. Her marriage broke down and her drinking escalated.
Alessia began a relationship with another man. Together they had two children, Nash and a younger sibling, but the man was violent towards Alessia. She obtained more than a dozen apprehended violence orders, but he repeatedly contravened them. Even when he kicked Alessia’s door in, the police took no action. Alessia believes the police dismissed her as ‘paranoid’ due to her mental health condition.
Alessia’s son Nash has profound intellectual impairment and a genetic condition – Alessia describes him as ‘a toddler in a large boy’s body’ who needs ‘24/7 care’. He has ‘explosions’, makes ‘poo smears on the floor’ and has attacked his sister.
Nash accessed the NDIS in his early teens, but did not obtain sufficient funding or supports for his needs.
At one point, Alessia took Nash to hospital. He was given an antipsychotic which caused his condition to deteriorate.
Alessia unsuccessfully sought more support and additional funding for respite. Eventually, due to lack of support, Alessia temporarily relinquished Nash’s care to child safety authorities. He lived in a group home for around two years, but his condition deteriorated further.
Alessia said Nash has had ‘lots of caseworkers’ – he is now on his eighth support coordinator – but no respite. There were ‘huge meetings’ involving ‘around 10 to 20 people’ to plan changes to the family home to ensure Nash’s safe return, but ‘nothing happened’.
Alessia is now Nash’s full-time carer. Her autism adds to the stress of providing this constant care. She requires an operation but cannot go ahead as there is no support for Nash while she is in hospital or in recovery. The NDIS has reduced support to three hours per day.
Alessia pointed out that through the business she and her partner had built up, she employed several autistic people, yet she has been unable to obtain help in caring for Nash. Being his full-time carer, Alessia sometimes had to take Nash to appointments with her clients.
Alessia said she kept ‘shaking every tree’ to get help for Nash, but this only resulted in reports saying she triggers her son’s behaviour and suggesting her claims are a result of her own mental illness.
She feels she is ‘walking around with gaping wounds’ as a result of her childhood trauma and struggle to obtain supports.
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.