Nicky and Kath
Content Warning: These stories are about violence, abuse, neglect and exploitation and may include references to suicide or self-harming behaviours. They may contain graphic descriptions and strong language and may be distressing. Some narratives may be about First Nations people who have passed away. If you need support, please see Contact & support.
‘Abuse, it doesn't start with a large bruise, it doesn't start with an assault on someone, it begins way before that and after with an attitude. It is about how people think, and it is an attitude that is rampant in this industry.’
Kath told the Royal Commission her daughter Nicky was a ‘busy and able child … with a really bold personality’. Nicky loved dancing, riding bikes and horses. She has intellectual disability and is non-verbal.
When Nicky was about 20, in the early 2000s, Kath became seriously ill and Nicky had to go into supported accommodation.
‘She went into two places and she was abused in both places.’
In the first place, a friend was visiting and noticed Nicky had bruises up her arms and around her neck.
Kath made a complaint but the home accused her of ‘making a mountain out of a molehill’.
‘Many people saw the bruises, so it wasn't that they didn't believe she had them. It was just … these things happen and what are you making a fuss about … That was really my first introduction into how accepted bruising and trauma to a person was.’
Kath insisted the home investigate.
‘Their report said that nothing happened.’
The child protection unit then investigated and concluded ‘harm had happened’ to Nicky.
Kath brought Nicky home and tried to find some support. But after a while Kath became ill again and she had to send Nicky to another home.
‘This was a place where she was just never the same child ever again.’
The provider placed Nicky in a house with three older women who had been ‘institutionalised’ for most of their lives.
Kath said ‘as awful as some of the bruisings were’, they were a ‘minor part’ of what happened.
‘One woman dragged her off the toilet on a daily basis so she couldn't even just sit on the toilet and have that privacy.’
Nicky shut down and would sob uncontrollably, ‘almost resigned to her situation’.
Kath raised her concerns and tried to find out what was going on. The home ‘bulldozed’ her, painting her ‘as a liar not to be trusted’.
When Nicky eventually came home some years later, she was ‘scared of everything’.
‘She had to be forced to come out of her room. She needed to have food in front of her all of the time, which she would hide so no-one could take it.’
Nicky told Kath to call her Nicola because ‘[Nicky] died’.
Kath tried to find out what had happened to Nicky and get her some help.
The home told her she was ‘being silly’ and refused to give her access to Nicky’s records. She had to contact the relevant government department to get the home to release them.
Kath was shocked at the ‘rewriting [of] history’. Nicky and Kath were ‘the problems, not the victims’.
‘As hard as all of that was and as horrific as it all was for [Nicky], we could have moved forward more than we have with our lives had we been given the support that we so desperately needed and some guidance,’ Kath said.
Kath has found it very difficult to find suitable accommodation for Nicky.
‘It should not be so hard to find a home for someone as adorable as [Nicky]. When I can no longer do this and when my time comes, I want to be prepared and to be able to go with knowing, not just thinking, really knowing that my daughter will be cared for.’
Disclaimer: This is the story of a person who shared their personal experience with the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability through a submission or private session. The names in this story are pseudonyms. The person who shared this experience was not a witness and their account is not evidence. They did not take an oath or affirmation before providing the story. Nothing in this story constitutes a finding of the Royal Commission. Any views expressed are those of the person who shared their experience, not of the Royal Commission.